Today begins another fucking terrible day. Of course, I try to keep negativity away from my blog, but this is a step too far, and I am suffering more than I thought I could at this particular time in my life. It feels like everything is being torn away from me; volleyball season, dance season, competetive dance season, Dorian festival, WSMA Auditions (Yeah, I didn’t get to go to those), and now, of course, I have to sustain a really painful, really unfair injury. If I heal, I’ll probably be laughing about this in a year or so, but for now, this is a tragedy, and I expect all of those who actually care about me to treat it as such, capiche?
I woke up late today. I wasn’t aware that I woke up late today. Why? Because the clock that happens to have the right time to let me know when I have to be leaving in the morning just so happens to be the one my father has begun to turn off in order to save energy. I followed my usual schedule until I checked my phone and realized that I should have been halfway down my driveway by that point. My first thought?
I slipped my shoes on and ran out the door without a second thought (and without my locker keys…that’s a double whammy). So here I am, in February, running down my icy driveway at full tilt trying to make sure I’m at the bus stop by intended time. Haha, yeah, like that’s gonna happen! My foot hits a particularly icy spot, my survival instinct causes my spine to curve forward to protect my head, and then…
My spine takes the full brunt of the blow, knocking me flat. I roll onto my knees, howling like a forlorn coyote (or like a really vocal chihuahua giving birth), and desperately try to stand up. Yeahh, not working too well, but finally, I manage to climb to my feet and half walk/half gimp my way to the bus.
Now, for those of you who have ever actually sustained a back injury…well, the fact is that if you hit hard enough, even lifting your fingers to type on a keyboard creates enough friction through your body to cause there to be a sharp pain through your spinal column. Now take that pain…and relate it to a bus ride on badly paved back roads for a duration of half an hour, and you have the picture of my morning.
Next is actually getting off the bus, at which point sitting completely straight without moving to reduce the pain is kind of a plague when you realize your back is just that perfect cross between still feeling the full brunt of the injury and beginning to feel the tight, rigor mortis-y, stiff feeling of all the muscles in your back contracting to try to placate the injury.
This is about the point where you actually begin to assign blame to your injury. I mean, you’re walking into your school with painful fire shooting through all of your limbs; you have to blame someone.
Which brings me to my almost-hopefully-comedical list of five things I blamed for my bad morning.
1. My dad. Yeah, I know, he was gone by the time I left the house, but he’s still the one who unplugged the proper clock.
Yes, I blame money. You know why? Because if we had almost any other system, my family wouldn’t need to think about cutting back in EVERY single way in order to keep food on the table.
3. My shoes. They have no grippiness. They’re gripless. If I had worn my Etnies instead of my Converse…none of this would have happened. Remember, ladies, no matter how cute, shoes will always hurt you in some way. They’re like the devil’s advocate.
4. My driveway. Imagine a gravel driveway that curves up a hill at a 45 degree slope. Now imagine that same driveway coated with ice. Now imagine running down that driveway to catch a bus. Outcome = not good.
5. Karma. Karma and I used to be buddies. We used to frolick through the fields of good luck and pretend the clouds were trampolines of fortune. That was back when I was like, 7, but who cares? Now, I find out that Karma has been really angry lately, and instead of just telling me it’s problems, it takes it’s anger out on me.
I imagine Karma to be a she-devil who has love for all things evil and wishes the imminent destruction of all things beautiful in this world (a.k.a me). It’s been a bad week. Hell, it’s been a bad month. Who else am I gonna blame…Mother Nature?
Ahaha, that’s funny…actually, no, I blame her too.
Okay, kiddies, that’s all for now.