I’M SO EXCITED AND I JUST CAN’T FIGHT IT! Just kidding, I’m really sad.


For real, again my plan is to bog you down with my problems because that is the price of me entertaining you all the time. Except, the fact is that I haven’t been blogging at all recently and THAT is one of the things that is making me feel just very sad. Just kidding, that doesn’t actually depress me that much at all. I mean, this blog is for me, and if you like reading it, that’s whatever.

Sooo, reasons why I am sad? I got sick, again. I mean, I’m at school now, but for the last two days I’ve been stuck on my couch tasting all of my meals twice, if you know what I mean.

I mean barfing. Tossing my cookies, losing my lunch, upchucking, spewing chunks, ejecting the contents of my stomach…

Abdominable voorheaves
After dinner mints
Air the diced carrots
Barf
Bark at ants
Beer belch
Be the mother bird
Big spit
Blow acid, beets, breakfast, chow, chunks, din-din, doughnuts,
foam, groceries, lunch
Boot (camp)
Bow down before the porcelain god
Brack
Bring it up for a vote
Brown nose it
Buick
Bush breakfast
Bushit
Buy my Buick
Call Buicks, dinosaurs, for huey, to the seals, uncle Ralph
Casting your bread upon the waters
Chewing backwards
Choom
Chuck
Chuck a pizza
Chunder
Chunderchunk
Chunderspew
Clean house
Commode hugging
Decorate pavement
Deliver street pavement
Discourage
Divulge dinner
Drain the main
Dribble phlegm
Driving the porcelain bus
Driving a porcelain tractor
Earl
Eject
Exspew
Feedback
Feed the fish, the houseplants, your young
Fertilize the sidewalk
Filling the bilge
Gack
Gag
Give an oral sacrifice at the alter of the porcelain god, goddess
Go to Europe with Ralph and Earl in a Buick
Gurp
Gut painting
Hack
Harf
Having a rerun of your lunch
Heave (your guts out)
Honk
Hork
“HRRaugkkk, hurk, BLAAAGHKUHG!”
Huey
Hug the porcelain wishing well
Hurl
Induce antiperistalsis
Inverse gut
Involuntary personal protein spill
Jump shot
Kneel before the porcelain god, goddess
Kneel at the porcelain altar
Lateral cookie toss
Laugh at the carpet, at the ground
Laughing at the Lino?
Launching lunch
Launching the shuttle
Leave lunch
Liberation
Liquid laugh
Liquid scream
Look for O’Rourke
Lose florescent Christmas cheer, some chopped carrots, weight,
your lunch
Losing it (big time)
Lunch
Make a (technicolour) tribute to Disney, an offering to the
porcelain god, food offerings to the china gods
Making pizza
Meet my friends Ralph and Earl
Negative chug
Out the in door
Paint the town green
Parbreake
Plant beets
Play at the porcelain altar
Play with the edible yo-yo
Polishing your shoes
Power barf, boot
Play at the porcelain altar
Pray to the porcelain god, goddess
Praying to the white goddess
Projectile vomiting
Projectiling
Protein spill
Psychedelic spit
Puke
Purge the system
Quick review of breakfast/lunch/dinner
Ralph
Read the toilet
Redecorate
Regurgitating, regurgitate
Reverse diarrhea, drink, eating, gears, gut, peristalsis
Revisiting dinner
Ride the porcelain bus
Ride the regurgitation
Round trip lunch ticket, meal ticket
Rufus
Scream cookies
Screaming mimi
Seconds
Sell a buick
Shout at your shoes
Singing the lovely beer ballad
Spew
Spew chips, chunks, snacks, spuds
Spill the groceries
Spunge
Talking on the porcelain telephone
Talk to God on the big white telephone, huey down the big white
telephone, John on the porcelain telephone, Ralph on the big
white telephone, Ralph on the camode-a-phone
Talk to the carpet, the whales
Taste dinner
Technicolour yawn, yodel
The Brooklyn mating call
The Jersey yodel
Throw dinner, the stomach soup, up, your voice, your groceries
Thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
To do a bush (originally translated from Japanese)
Tossing your cookies, tacos
Uncle Fester
Un-eat
Un-recoverable application error
Upchuck
Urp
Vector-spew
Voiding
Vomiting
Waxing the floor
Whistling beef, carrots
Wolf
Woof
WORF!!!
Worship at the porcelain altar, the porcelain god
Wretch
Yabble
Yakk
Yeech
Yell at the ground, for Hughie
Yell at the porcelain god,for the porcelain god
Yench
Yesterday’s lunch
Yodel
York
Yuke

Iiiii, think you get the point. Let’s move on, or this keyboard will be awash with deck stew.

Soo, today I came to school still feeling preeeettttyyy under the weather, just tired and dizzy and you know, just how you feel right during the recovery period from the flu. THEN people just are trampling all over me today, and I do understand that I’m being shy, quiet Telea (A very VERY little-known alternate persona), but it makes me realize just how much people disrespect me, because when I’m just being small and chill and trying to say something that seems important, even in a totally hushed room, NO ONE listens.

I do realize that I have made a huge impact on a lot of people, I mean, come on, I still have my ego, it’s just sitting a little farther back in my mind today. But the thing is, those people WOULD NOT have noticed me had it not been for the fact that I had projected over everyone else to speak my opinion.

SOOOO, realizing that my Brother now reads this, Devi, dearest, just don’t take this too horribly when I’m saying all of this, because, of course, I am an over-over-dramatic teenager with a few sad things going on. I just wanna rant and rave and hopefully give everyone a few new terms to use when they’re about to freestyle their food. If you know what I mean.

I mean puke.

Okay, we’re so not gonna do THAT whole list again.

So today I’ve just been sitting around, half paying attention, half holding back tears, and it was all made worse when one of my teachers had some free time to work with me (I know this because they were just sitting playing a game on their laptop) and they didn’t make time to help me out with my make-up work.

This blog is getting long, so I will continue my day trying to smile, taking it easy, and hoping everything gets better. Which it will, because the grass is always greener after the rain.

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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