I have been absolutely terrible this month. Between work, school, and suddenly being sick all of the time, I haven’t had time to look after some of my very favorite online people…which, obviously, is you guys.
Let’s talk about a couple of hardships. First of all, my Spanish Class. I am way behind the curve here. My first Spanish teacher knew how to speak Spanish fluently, but had no idea how to teach it, and that combined with a class like mine, who constantly seeks to undermine new teachers at every turn, well…it just means that within the first two assignments, I have no idea what anyone is even saying.
I have now received an email telling me that I am an ‘at risk’ student in that class, with how little I’ve gotten done. I don’t know what to do, as the Spanish teacher at our school is the same one I’m working with virtually, and teaches over ITV, so I can’t have a face-to-face sit-down with her to talk about where I’m lagging.
Another thing to talk about is my flu, which just so happens to have popped up at the second most inconvenient time in my life this year. With work, school, and the Toad party coming up, I happen to have no time at all to be dealing with migraines, nausea, or any other such symptoms. If anyone knows a good Exorcism ritual to get rid of bad feelings and illness, you should send on the recipe.
I have also been struggling with some of the people around me after having halfway come out as Bisexual. I mean, it’s not a big deal. I’m an 18-year old female, and there’s a possibility that this has just been a really long phase, or it could be legit. I don’t know yet, which is why I’m not boldly displaying my sexuality like a beacon of hope to other lost souls.
However, there are some people close to me that I feel should know, and most of them are taking it really well, and some of them think that I need to be locked up for a few months, or simply just exposed to more attractive men. It really doesn’t matter, it has just given more ammo to the people who want to bring me down.
Another thing to talk about is my court date. I have a court date Wednesday for something I did in May (which I find inappropriate to discuss on my blog, lawfully, but has been posted in detail in my local newspaper), and I’m pretty nervous. I’m told that this is just a preliminary hearing, which means I’ll go, the judge will look over my stuff, and then issue a real court date, but still…it’s this whole big thing and I’m incredibly scared that it could impact my entire future.
After all, a criminal record can bar you from going to some colleges, getting jobs, living in certain neighborhoods, taking care of children, and having an exchange student. It can also affect where you travel, what you can do when you travel, the amount of security precautions will be taken against you, and some exchange programs that I might want to go with during college.
So, basically, wish me luck that this doesn’t impact my future, because I have huge plans for the future, and I don’t want them to be affected by a really stupid mistake I made when I was 17.
Now, let’s talk about getting older, because oh boy, I can feel my old bones creaking. It’s amazing how much you actually do change after you turn 18. At first, it’s like, oh, this isn’t a big deal, I can buy cigarettes and fireworks, I can vote etc. etc. Then you realize that you’ve actually begun to really think about things, way more than you used to.
Then you realize that you’ve been sleep-planning your future, and all your fears about getting older are real, and than you only have two more years of being a teenager and then you’re done for.
Oh, that’s just me? Well, I feel as if in my day-to-day life, I’ve stopped talking so much, and started doing more. I’m working and saving money, I’m doing school, I’m considering applications to college.
I’m taking my ridiculous dreams and filing them away in the ‘for when I’m rich and famous’ section, wink wink. Oh, yeah, and I’ve realized that I may or may not have the potential to actually become famous. I’m kind of waking up to the fact that there are millions upon millions of talented people out there, and I’m just one of them.
I’m making backup plans. I’m settling, because so many people who are sure they’re going to make it and don’t end up flipping burgers or working in cubicles for the rest of their lives, and that’s not me.
Anyway, now that you’ve heard me ramble on about my life, I’m going to get to the impossible task of doing my Spanish and Algebra homework all in one day, and then I’m going to lay back and watch stupid episodes of stupid tv shows because I’m sick and who the hell cares, anyway?