Okay, so there’s this girl. And she is just so cute. And I want to flirt with her and be all cheesy and stuff but I feel intimidated because when she flirts it is just the cutest and most classy flirting ever and I feel like just coming out and saying: ‘I want to kiss your face a lot’ isn’t going to work well for me.
Or maybe it would but I’m just too shy.
What we’re here to talk about today is my sexuality, because it is something I haven’t necessarily addressed but I think you guys all know what’s up on that level. Hello, I am Telea, and I do not allow sex or gender to define the person that I crush on/love. It’s really easy to just label me as Bisexual because that is a term most people can understand, but I don’t feel as if it fully covers who I am.
Why we’re talking about this is because I had forgotten that almost nobody I knew was actually sure about who I liked and ‘what team I was playing for’, and then I posted a status asking how to flirt with a cute girl and people went a little bit crazy.
Now, there have always been rumors that I, Telea, am a big fan of the female anatomy and nothing but. However, though it is true that I do love me some women, I also love me some everything else. Well, I mean, human-wise.
So I decided recently that I was just going to be open about the fact that I am attracted to who I am attracted to, regardless of gender, sex (yes, those are two different things, in case some of you didn’t know that), weight, age (I mean, to an extent), race, height, looks, or any other physically defining factor.
Yes, I will admit that I am a sucker for really nice butts and I am not the only person in the world who does not recognize good-looking people. Like, oh my gosh, I recognize them and I salute them. But the point I would make is that my idea of what an attractive person is has a much wider variety than what television and media shows us is attractive.
For example, I generally would rather date a girl who was 250 pounds and a little chubby but ate right and had respect for herself than a 120 pound gorgeously-built athlete who vastly restricted her diet and thought that she wasn’t good enough.
I would rather date a ‘heavy-set’ dude who was funny and intelligent than an abular babe-like beach body who really didn’t have much going for him.
I think the biggest problem in society is that we as a society have set unreachable standards that beautiful people feel they cannot fit into. People kill themselves trying to conform to these standards to be the vision of attractiveness when really, is it just me, or would I make out with all of you?
So now that I’m just about finished with my little rant on beauty, I want to let you know that I would probably think you were beautiful if you possessed a few simple characteristics.
1. You are intelligent. Intelligence is like, this gigantic turn-on for me, and I would like to mention that school should pay you to be highly educated because damn, intelligence is dwindling and I can’t get me no stupid life mate. It’s just not gonna work.
2. You have a sense of humor. This isn’t necessary to me liking someone, but I am a total goofball and I make a lot of smart jokes and I make a lot of really stupid jokes and it would work so much better if you understood/laughed at/made those jokes.
3. You are loving and accepting of everyone who deserves love and acceptance. This is HUGE. I do not condone Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, or any other kind of hate against people that you find to be ‘different’ from you. People are people, and a good person can come in all shapes, sizes, sexes, races, sexualities, genders, etc.
4. You eat good food. I don’t care if you’re thin or fat or anything as long as you have a healthy diet. Junk food is awesome but I can’t get diggety-down with someone who eats it all the time because I will always be fearing for their health. It’s true that I am a sucker for high-calorie things like pizza (Oh my, I could really go for some of that right now), french fries, ice cream, etc, but I infuse my diet with tons of fresh fruit, vegetables, yogurt, etc. It’s basically a taking care of yourself thing. If you can’t respect your body and treat it right, I can’t really respect you as much. This also means that keeping your body clean is awesome. You don’t have to shave or put on fragrance, just stay clean.
5. Last but not least, I am so into people who can snuggle really well. I mean, snuggling is key in any relationship. Snuggling makes everything feel so much better and since anyone and everyone can snuggle, I just go for the people that have talent at it. Which is a LOT of people.
So, I guess my ideal mate is smart, funny, accepting, , smells good/is clean, eats good food, and snuggles. Oh, and likes adventures. They have to have a sense of adventure. Other than that, I don’t care if you’re a fat gamer nerd or a skinny porn addict (but I mean, you have to like me more than porn). It just doesn’t matter. Love is love and should not be tampered with or categorized.
So there’s my rant about my sexuality, which turned into me telling you that you’re probably all beautiful and please love me.
I’m off to go figure out how to flirt with this girl and maybe sell my body for enough money to buy her nice things.