Tag Archives: teenage blogger

The Slow Month


It’s a shame when you have so much to do writing-wise and you completely neglect something that you love to do in order to finish things you have to do. This is what has happened to me, with all of my promises and such, as well progress further into 2013. This has been the slowest month since May, and I don’t have any excuses at all.

However, instead of bemoaning my absence, I have decided to write a story about what has happened of late in my life, as I know you’re all so desperate to know how Telea fares in this cruel and unusual world that declares Nutella isn’t a necessary staple in anyone’s diet.

Telea stumbled out of her bedroom, half-dressed as always, at two o’clock in the afternoon, reeking of nerdiness and disappointment. If one doesn’t know how that would smell, they would simply need to spend an hour in the presence of someone who’s favorite television show has recently been canceled, put on hiatus, or ended for the season.

She turned the sharp corners in her tiny house with skill beyond her comprehension, and then very carefully slammed shut the bathroom door with a fiery passions so far unknown to man. This was the amount of physical activity she got each day before retreating back to her bedroom with a large bowl of some sort of human sustenance and a large cup of coffee.

She would then proceed to refresh her Tumblr, update her facebook status with something witty, and then start in on her over-due assignments in her online classes. This was not the life. This was not where she imagined herself being at eighteen years of age, though her plans resembled wild dreams that wouldn’t exactly come true anyway.

Today was slightly different in the sense that she felt a sense of tomorrow being better So, accordingly, after staying up all night and having her afternoon meal, she went, finally, to bed, where she dreamt of having an entire platform of Betas, each with a superhero name. When she awoke at 4 am, she remembered that it was the day of her little sister’s birthday party, so she grudgingly rose to the occasion by climbing into the shower and not crying until she passed out (this bit added for dramatic effect and not for historical accuracy).

Guests began arriving, people began shouting, and it became an overall good day, which ended in her going to Grace’s house with her friend Sami and committing a series of non-criminal crimes, such as staying up late and using fake names on Omegle.As Grace and Sami returned her in the later part of the afternoon on Monday, she was dropped off at the bottom of the driveway to fetch the post.

It’s a typical human thing to do, right? If there’s post, you get it. Got iAnyway, she shuffled rapidly through said post and found a letter addressed to her (SCORE!).

She carefully wedged the rest of the post not addressed to her (Aka The Useless Post) underneath her armpit and carefully ripped open the letter, again with a fiery passion never before known to man. But CAREFULLY.
Enclosed, she found two tickets to the Lindsey Stirling Concert at First Ave on March 7th.
She then began crying, then screaming, then crying again as she dashed up the driveway (not such a good idea on ice and an injured knee, especially with tears clouding your vision) and stormed into the house, asking her baffled mother (who had no idea where she had materialized from) who got them for her.

After repeating herself numerous times through tears, gasps, and maybe a bit of snot/blood, she informed Telea that they were a gift from the one and only Devon, older brother of the wonderful Telea.

So, that’s the story of my life. Yep. Okay.

Question of the day: If you were to go see a concert of ANYONE, who would it be?

Love ya!

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The Pros and Cons of having EXCELLENT hair.


As many of you know, my hair is like god’s gift to man. Not to woman, no, though many women talk to me and say that they wish they had hair like mine. For those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to, I have included a just-taken photograph of me and my hair.

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Yes, it is rather unfortunate that hair like that was paired with a face like mine, but I make it work for me quite well if I try. I can style my hair into a beard to cover said face.

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Or I can just not have my face turned towards the camera whilst distracting you so much with my hair that you almost don’t notice that I’m dancing on a pole.

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Either way, my hair just works for me if I ask it nicely enough. Here’s where I start talking about the cons, since I obviously have just kind of showed you how absolutely excellent my hair happens to be.

One con of having long, thick, lustrous hair is that brushing it can be a bitch, especially if you haven’t done it in a few days. This involves layer-by-layer dedication and a very sturdy brush.

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Since we’re still talking about cons, let’s discuss the days when you just don’t want to deal with your hair (which probably weighs a pound and a half by now). You may just leave it down to get tangled and messy, but more often than not, you may try desperately to fix everything by putting your hair in a bun (Reference Video Available Below).

Overall, I don’t think I could honestly tell you if having long, lustrous hair like mine is a good thing or not. I mean, I look really good, even if there’s a strong wind or a hurricane, but when it comes to fierce snuggle-hugging, sexual acts, kissing, or showering, it just all feels like it’s in the way, a waste of time, and a total hassle.

Of course, this entire blog post wasn’t really well thought-out in the first place. I just thought: Hey, maybe people wouldn’t notice that I’m a shit blogger if I make funny of myself and post stupid pictures, but it’s obviously not working, seeing as how I’m losing likes by the day.

Maybe if certain people that happen to follow my blog would, I don’t know, tell me what they would like to hear about from me, I would get better. Maybe. But probably not. I have a lot on my mind of late.

I have uploaded the ‘Determined Blogger Award’ video, which can be found, again, below.

Congratulations for the final time to anyone who won this award. I may or may not create more awards for various occasions and various things, so stay posted. I would also like to state that you guys would be doing me a serious solid if you would watch my Youtube videos a lot, and, if an ad pops up, click it. I will be making money off of that which is going straight into the funds for getting a better camera/going to college.

Question of the day: How do you feel about your hair (or lack of it), and what was one hairstyle that you either miss or regret?

Love ya!

No, in Fact, the Best Way to Show Your Love is NOT to Spread Herpes


America, we have a serious problem. Wait, America doesn’t read my blog, what am I thinking? Readers, we have a serious problem. The problem is…

We’re not discussing any topics that have anything to do with my title today. Yeah, I know, this problem could be easily alleviated by me just changing the title, but that’s work, dearies, and I am not prone to be a working woman. In fact, give me a mop, and I’ll have a new wig, as just about no one ever has said.

In fact, I don’t quite know what’s we’re discussing today, so I’m stalling with terrible jokes that make my eyes burn with shame and my heart…well…let’s not talk about my heart right now.

Dearies, I am nervous, I am excited, I am scared, and most of all…I am relieved. Tomorrow, just a couple few hours away, I will have made it to my one year blogniversary. Yes, yes, let’s throw a party and give me presents. Then I’ll give some sappy, well-rehearsed speech about how I couldn’t have made it without you, and it will sound terribly insincere because that’s what many well-rehearsed speeches tend to end up doing.

But really, I am grateful…to each and every single one of you darling critters who has crawled up and made a nest out of my blog. I promise to feed you at least once a week, and provide you with an education. Go forth and internet, but remember to keep your safe searches on high when adding together the words ‘blue’ and ‘waffle’.

Something I have become concerned with of late are the search terms most commonly used to find my blog. So, here’s what I’m going to do. There were five search terms that seriously disturbed me in my list of top search terms to find the blog.

We are doing a list of five, where I address each term.

1. Fap Chafing. Wait, what? This is a top search  to find this quaint little blog? Mercy me and Oh Mylanta! I cannot believe that something this dreadful would be a top term for my blog. Heavenly Asgard above and – Okay, I’m cutting the crap and getting to the point. First of all, I don’t even remember ever posting something about fap chafing, and if I did, well, that was…at least a week ago. Secondly, for anyone interested in knowing my advice on the matter: If it’s chafing, just stop rubbing it! An alternative suggestion is that maybe you’re doing it wrong.

2. Making Out is Over-rated. Well, maybe you’re just bad at making out, did you ever think of that, huh? Since when were my viewpoints on this matter anything other than ‘Please, sir, can I have some more?’ or ‘Holy Mother of Asgard, make out with my face, make out with it right now’? You have made me so emotionally confused that I can barely type this next line. I can barely consider the cries of sadness and frustration that would be let loose upon the world(s) if I was the only person in the world who thought that making out is, if anything, UNDER-RATED. Please explain to me why you would ever even think about using that as a search term.

3. Big Black Dick with Herpes (because I had to say something related to the title of this post). Are you serious  right now? And no, I would like to state that this is not an obscure, one time search term that was used to find my blog. In fact, my blog has been found a total of sixteen times with that particular search term. I mean, yay, props for big black dicks getting me followers, but really? Guys, this needs to stop. I am not amused, or impressed, no matter how sizable you assumed the picture you were searching for was going to be.

4. What if your girlfriend is a Stripper? Actually, I kind of like this one. A lot. I actually kind of want to start a newspaper, giving people advice on their girlfriends and their stripper businesses. A better question to ask might be: What if my girlfriend is a stripper, but I’m her boss? Duuude, how disturbing would that be? Especially if you hired your girlfriend after you two started dating. Imagine that. Hey, I know we just started dating, but will you take your clothes off in front of barely legal boys and sad old men for money? Cool shit, I’m down…would be no one’s response. Just saying. Anyway, if your girlfriend is a stripper, I would suggest you get your paycheck in dollar bills from here on out.

5. I’ll kidnap you, duct tape your mouth shut, and then fart in your eye. …Wait. What? That’s seriously someone’s idea of a good search term, nay, a good time? Were they looking for porn or were they looking for professional help based on severe emotional trauma? All added up, this search term has been used forty six times to get to my blog, which either means someone is a little obsessed, or we have forty-six separate and equally creepy kidnapping eye-farters on our hands, and it’s possible that they’re all after me.

Well, I hope you enjoyed learning about the creepy people who read my blog while doing other things. I’m glad that some of your are beautiful, wonderful people, who would only think of kidnapping me and farting in my eye if I really deserved therapy and Pinkeye.

Love ya!

September: Apparently Not a Strong Blogging Month


I have been absolutely terrible this month. Between work, school, and suddenly being sick all of the time, I haven’t had time to look after some of my very favorite online people…which, obviously, is you guys.

Let’s talk about a couple of hardships. First of all, my Spanish Class. I am way behind the curve here. My first Spanish teacher knew how to speak Spanish fluently, but had no idea how to teach it, and that combined with a class like mine, who constantly seeks to undermine new teachers at every turn, well…it just means that within the first two assignments, I have no idea what anyone is even saying.

I have now received an email telling me that I am an ‘at risk’ student in that class, with how little I’ve gotten done. I don’t know what to do, as the Spanish teacher at our school is the same one I’m working with virtually, and teaches over ITV, so I can’t have a face-to-face sit-down with her to talk about where I’m lagging.

Another thing to talk about is my flu, which just so happens to have popped up at the second most inconvenient time in my life this year. With work, school, and the Toad party coming up, I happen to have no time at all to be dealing with migraines, nausea, or any other such symptoms. If anyone knows a good Exorcism ritual to get rid of bad feelings and illness, you should send on the recipe.

I have also been struggling with some of the people around me after having halfway come out as Bisexual. I mean, it’s not a big deal. I’m an 18-year old female, and there’s a possibility that this has just been a really long phase, or it could be legit. I don’t know yet, which is why I’m not boldly displaying my sexuality like a beacon of hope to other lost souls.

However, there are some people close to me that I feel should know, and most of them are taking it really well, and some of them think that I need to be locked up for a few months, or simply just exposed to more attractive men. It really doesn’t matter, it has just given more ammo to the people who want to bring me down.

Another thing to talk about is my court date. I have a court date Wednesday for something I did in May (which I find inappropriate to discuss on my blog, lawfully, but has been posted in detail in my local newspaper), and I’m pretty nervous. I’m told that this is just a preliminary hearing, which means I’ll go, the judge will look over my stuff, and then issue a real court date, but still…it’s this whole big thing and I’m incredibly scared that it could impact my entire future.

After all, a criminal record can bar you from going to some colleges, getting jobs, living in certain neighborhoods, taking care of children, and having an exchange student. It can also affect where you travel, what you can do when you travel, the amount of security precautions will be taken against you, and some exchange programs that I might want to go with during college.

So, basically, wish me luck that this doesn’t impact my future, because I have huge plans for the future, and I don’t want them to be affected by a really stupid mistake I made when I was 17.

Now, let’s talk about getting older, because oh boy, I can feel my old bones creaking. It’s amazing how much you actually do change after you turn 18. At first, it’s like, oh, this isn’t a big deal, I can buy cigarettes and fireworks, I can vote etc. etc. Then you realize that you’ve actually begun to really think  about things, way more than you used to.

Then you realize that you’ve been sleep-planning your future, and all your fears about getting older are real, and than you only have two more years of being a teenager and then you’re done for. 

Oh, that’s just me? Well, I feel as if in my day-to-day life, I’ve stopped talking so much, and started doing more. I’m working and saving money, I’m doing school, I’m considering applications to college.

I’m taking my ridiculous dreams and filing them away in the ‘for when I’m rich and famous’ section, wink wink. Oh, yeah, and I’ve realized that I may or may not have the potential to actually become famous. I’m kind of waking up to the fact that there are millions upon millions of talented people out there, and I’m just one of them.

I’m making backup plans. I’m settling, because so many people who are sure they’re going to make it and don’t end up flipping burgers or working in cubicles for the rest of their lives, and that’s not me.

Anyway, now that you’ve heard me ramble on about my life, I’m going to get to the impossible task of doing my Spanish and Algebra homework all in one day, and then I’m going to lay back and watch stupid episodes of stupid tv shows because I’m sick and who the hell cares, anyway?

Love ya!