Tag Archives: posting

My Day Off and Other Anti-Accomplishments

Welp, yesterday I didn’t post a damn thing, and do you know why that is? No, neither do I. Actually, I do, and here’s the story of what really happened.

Telea, awesome, explosions, fighting, guns, fast and the furious-like racing scene, riding an elephant, tiny hippos, more explosions, met a hot guy, romantic montage with said guy set to ‘Baby Got Back’, really large explosions, real life ass muffins, Drugs, airplanes, coconuts, rum, and explosions in the bedroom (wink-wink).

So, to sum it all up, all I told the truth about in that last statement was Telea, awesome and drugs. I apologize for leading you astray, and now here’s the real synopsis of what went down on Wednesday.

I took three sleeping pills instead of one and I slept from 3 in the morning on Wednesday all the way to 1 am on Thursday, when I begrudgingly booted up the old internet and did nothing but scroll through my Tumblr feed all the way up to the moment that I decided to stop being lazy and actually post a blog.

And so goes the life of one Telea Dodge, who obviously lacks a life, friends, a job, and any sort of respect for normal sleeping hours. Goddamn her, we can’t decide if she is foolish or brilliant, so we will settle on Fooliant and Brillish. Yes, yes, those are actual words. No, no, don’t look them up.

I would like to state, in my defense, that this was long-awaited sleep and that well, fuck you for assuming I’m going to post a blog every day. That has only been my tried and true standard for the past couple of weeks (Though you’re proud of me, aren’t you?). I’m afraid that I have slipped even deeper into the chasm of doom that is the internet.

I may not make it out of this alive, but if it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right [and other crap cliches that are actually about love].

On the bright side (as if sleeping for 22 hours wasn’t enough of a bright side for my fellow Satanists) I may get to go on an adventure today and possibly receive snuggles or kisses on this adventure. Even without the snuggles and kisses, it will be good to leave the general area of my pantry-that-was-converted-into-a-room-over-a-decade-ago and actually use my legs for the first time since ‘Nam.

So, there’s my sorry excuse for a blog, and my question of the day (since I apparently do that now) is…

What do you do on your day off?

Love ya!


One Last Post Before the Storm…I Mean, Party.

Oi there, babes! I have decided that all of you beautiful people are married to me. I’m taking the phrase ‘married to the job’ a little bit farther. So, congratulations, everyone who reads my blog, you officially have a new spouse. 

Here’s the catch. It’s an internet marriage. It’s not official, we’re not buying a house together, and we’re not having kids. The exception to the house and kids rules are as follows.

1. Telea is willing to rent an apartment with one specific follower of her blog, and that person already knows who she is.

2. If the house is really just a blog, and the kids are our little combined effort blog babies, I support that to a level none of you even knew existed. It’s on a whole other level how much I support that. 

3. If you want to buy me a really nice house, I’m not going to object even one bit. Unless that house is A. a Modern Tech House, B. Positioned in a War zone, C. A Deathtrap, or D. Contains a rape dungeon.

4. Wait, having a rape dungeon might be kinda…morbidly cool. Scratch the Rape Dungeon bit. You just can’t USE the rape dungeon.

5. If you can absolutely guarantee that our children will be born as magical being that can shapeshift into fire-breathing dragons and lay eggs of gold, we can have children together. Be warned that if you guarantee this to me, and then the children end up, well, just kids…I will drown them/turn them into dumpster babies/put them up for adoption in Africa.

Not that I’m a bad person or anything, it’s just that…we’re not having kids.

Anyway, today I get a paycheck that totals around…four hundred dollars. A large percentage of this is going in the ‘do not touch, it’s for an apartment’ fund, while the rest is going in the ‘You fucking NEED a car, Telea’ fund.

I’ll work for a couple of hours today, and then I’ll shower up, suit up, and get my party on, just the way Odin intended, THANK ASGARD!

If I manage to get another post in this weekend, you can be damned sure that a miracle has happened, in which case I expect you to bow down to my greatness. But not really bow, just say you bowed.

Love ya!