I live in a small house. A very small house. Originally built over one hundred years ago, this house was initially made to be a ‘One bedroom, one bathroom’ kind of situation. When we moved in nigh on 16 years ago, it became a ‘turn the dining room and pantry into bedrooms and have a communal bathroom’ kind of situation.
POW. The story of how I ended up spending 11 years in an 8×8 room off the kitchen with my little sister has been told. But that is not what we’re discussing right now.
What we’re discussing is growing up in a household with six people and having only one toilet and one shower. Well, that’s not true. We have three toilets. The bathroom toilet, the sketchy basement toilet, and the outhouse, which, at this time of year, would be like pressing your buttcheeks against a slab of ice. And trust me because I know from experience, that is close to the least pleasant thing to be experiencing at 7am.
Back to the one shower bit. We’re not just talking about one shower. We’re also talking about the one water heater that’s connected to that shower. And how said water heater can only handle one shower per two hours or else you’re in for another one of those not pleasant morning experiences: being doused with water that feels like it was pulled from right beneath a glacier.
We’re also talking about how three people needed a shower this morning, and I’m the unlucky one that’s going to be taking the polar plunge. Yes, my dears, life can be unfortunate and it is possible for skin to be this naturally blue.
Okay, so I’m not in a good mood today. Today is my Preliminary Hearing for that whole Court thing I’m involved in, and I’m scared/nervous/upset/on edge. I also have nothing dressy but cute and subtle to wear. Not that my dressy clothes are whore clothes, just that I don’t have anything dressy, not to mention something dressy and specific.
I’m also starving. So hungry I could bite into the hindquarters of a roasted Hippo. And I really LIKE hippos. But not in an eating way. Unless I’m this hungry.
The obvious answer would be to eat, right? The problem being that breakfast foods are at a bare minimum based on people’s strange eating habits that involve sticking their dirty fingers into the communal food, licking said food off of their fingers, and then sticking their fingers back into the food.
If that disgusts you to the same point that I am disgusted, you need only look in a mirror to see my reaction every morning when I look at the peanut butter.
Anywhoozles, (Oops, sorry Lexi, is that copyright infringement? Wink wink.) I must get on with this day…oh joy.