Even though I’ve never been on a legitimate date in my life (as far as I know…?). I mean, I guess maybe I’ve gone and done things with people and maybe they thought they were dates or something but I don’t know, I would feel bad if that were the case because then maybe I’m letting people down by saying I haven’t been on dates.
I’m generally over-thinking because, well, it’s two in the morning and I fucking can. Also because I’m still on drugs and this emotional roller-coaster has really manhandled the fuck out of both myself and my writing. Hey, at least I’m blogging.
So I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about dating because I can’t. Well, I can, but not without a general amount of trouble and paperwork and well-to-do’s from the lovely state of Wisconsin. I would have to go through some stuff with my Probation Officer and I mean, I’m just not super into having to sign up for a significant other and I’m also super not into being required to discuss my personal life unless I really want to.
What a rebel. Because I vent on the internet all of the time and expend a great deal of energy on getting close to nothing done but as soon as it’s something with an actual requirement well it’s just fuck all of this and back to angry blogging.
I’m also angsty about the whole dating thing because I can’t seem to actually woo people with my ‘devilish charms’. Mostly because said devilish charms only exist on the internet and I’m actually just a really loud shy person if that makes any sense.
I’m MOSTLY angsty about the whole dating thing, though, because I meet these really cool, seemingly classy individuals and then they just want to be friends but also have sex with me and that’s okay to an extent. I can totally dig casual things but at the same time some days I don’t want any of that noise and I just want to consistently be able to cuddle with the same person all of the time and plant kisses on that person’s face and other sappy lovey-dovey stuff.
So yes, here I am ranting instead of putting together a nice, well-versed and motivational blog post about graduating high school or the bumps of life’s roads. Just a road bump post in itself and a desperate hope that these drugs stop messing with my emotions because I already have enough of them already.
I guess the advice/lesson of the day is that being angsty is okay and just vent on the internet instead of hurting people close to you. And definitely do not yell at someone you like because they don’t want to date you. It just makes things weird and they might block you on Facebook or stop answering the phone when you call. Not that I would know about that at all.