The Graduate and Other Lame Almost-Love Stories

I have graduated. I did it. I made the big push and now it’s all over. I received my diploma and I walked with the other graduates. I had my graduation party. It’s done. Goodbye to the class of 2013. Goodbye to my high school. This has been a love story that you wouldn’t put down in books. People want to hear about a happy ending. Reunions. Acceptance.

This is a story of struggle. And of finally being able to move on. And there isn’t nostalgia or last minute ‘I love you’s’ or anything. It’s just, simply, over. I wish there were more love stories like this. The ones where it was almost something great and then it wasn’t. The ones you would have cried over, but you couldn’t. Realistic love stories. Where the last kiss isn’t one of love but one of goodbye. 

I guess we don’t have love stories like this because they hit us too deeply in the wrong spots. Because we were always the kids that were disappointed but still filled with wonder and still ready to move on. But we never wanted to accept them. We wanted to believe that our love stories ended with a kiss or a marriage proposal. We thought that we would feel whole without ever needed to actually find ourselves. Whatever that means.

I don’t think we do ‘find ourselves’ and I don’t think that there is any love story to define life. Life IS your love story. Moving on is just another chapter. Thinking of it in a way that makes sense, graduating high school isn’t this gigantic nostalgic moment that will help to define your entire life. It is a kiss from someone you’re not sure you ever loved. Someone that helped you grow while setting you back at the same time. And when it all boils down to nothing, it was just a kiss. 

The kind of kiss a drunk teenager gives you at three in the morning, telling you that they love you but not knowing what love means. The kind of kiss you had in the hallway of your school after prom, when the boy smelled really good but tasted like emptiness. The kind of kiss where you had been hoping against hope that it would be your last first kiss, but it just ended up being your first last kiss instead. 

And it hurts a bit. And it means a lot by meaning absolutely nothing. We have internalized this kiss and let it grow inside of us, and it has still managed to make us feel nothing but regret and maybe acceptance. We are done with this kiss. Some of us will think about it often, time clouding the memories to make them taste so much sweeter than they did. Some of us will forget about the kiss, thinking it didn’t mean all that much anyway.

And all of us were that drunk teenager, kissing someone we didn’t love because we thought we needed to. We thought we weren’t fulfilled without that kiss. But I know better. A kiss is just a kiss and high school is just a kiss.

I’m glad that the taste is fading from my lips.

Love ya!


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

4 responses »

  1. Congratulations! May all your future kisses be as meaningless or meaningful as you would like!

  2. I’m happy you’re through high school Telea 🙂

    After reading the 1st paragraph I was going to attempt to write something inspiring and how school doesn’t necessarily mean that much. But ummm… You did that way better than I could in the rest of your post. Damn you 😉

    You really do have a gift for writing. Good luck in whatever comes next.

    • Well, thank you dear! I am flattered that you still come and read my blog, too. It’s really wonderful to form connections with people through writing and I must thank you profusely for all of your positivity and encouragement. Sending much love your way!

      • Happy too.

        I kinda fell off the blogosphere for a while, but have slowly been getting back into it these last few months.

        It is great to make these connections. I suppose it’s a modern form of pen pal 🙂

        Love back

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