I guess you could say that I’ve not had time to be very reflective about my life of late, but that’s not exactly true. Nothing has truly been changing and I’ve had plenty of time. I guess I don’t want to think about my future or even the here and now. I wish that I had the luxury of sleeping more.
I guess I’m sounding rather cryptic and not at all like me, Telea. But I guess you guys also know that I change a lot. I change my clothes, my mind, my hair, and my shoes. I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but maybe it was important to write it down.
The importance of writing things down has never truly escaped me, rather I have escaped it on some occasions. I think it’s awesome that I’m running a blog and talking a bit about my life here and there, but there are just some things that you remember well enough without having to write them down.
The joke will be on me in a few decades when I get Alzheimers or Amnesia and can’t remember a bloody thing about my life. That’ll be a real pain in the ass. I’ll go digging through my blog and find a lot of missed days, a lot of things that I can’t get back.
And then I’ll also find pointless blog posts about how I’ll have missed days and I’ll cry because somehow I always knew this was coming. I don’t know, I guess I’m in a dreary mood. I don’t want to be here but at the same time I have not the energy to go anywhere else.
I’m stuck, guys. In a rut. Does this happen to every eighteen year-old out there? Like all your dreams and ambitions seem so little and pointless but you can’t quite get a hold of the bigger picture?
I guess that’s enough of my rambling for the day. I hope you all are well and that your lives haven’t seemed as pointless as mine of late. Don’t worry, I’m not suicidal…just…
A little bit already dead inside. Damn world.