This blog is dedicated to each and every C. A. Mitchell that happens to be reading this blog. I’m sure there are tons of you, and that you pow-wow or rendezvous or party or what ever kind of gathering of sorts that C. A. Mitchell’s are expected to do.
Speaking of said festivals, it’s very possible that one or more of you C.A Mitchell’s had a wee bit too much fun last night, when you drank yourself into a drunken (is that repetitive?) stupor and are now suffering the side-effects. Kids, don’t drink and NaNoWriMo. It’s hazardous to yourself and possibly your characters, whom you may or may not take your pain and agony out on.
I have never personally had this problem. Not because I’ve never had something (or a lot of something) to drink. Like almost every single teenager in the world, I did make the decision on multiple occasions to drink a little more than I should, which can be perceived by some adults as ‘Any at all, you’re under 21’. but should be perceived as ‘Why was putting an entire bottle of Vodka in front of me a good idea?’
I can assure you that I no longer make such bad choices, as I realized that they could be a major hindrance to my future, my friendships, my relationships, and yes, even my credit score. The only thing they didn’t seem to hinder was me, in the moment, pelvic thrusting at the wall, the couch, the guy passed out on the couch, or my mother.
The reason why I have never had this problem is that there is only one time in the history of my teenage drinking career that I ever actually experienced a hangover. I can’t tell you the whole gory story, because then you would come to my house and confiscate any and all matches, lamps, people, musical instruments, and ladders. What I can tell you is that the next morning I woke up feeling like there were bees stinging my brains and toxic slimes mingling in my belly.
NOT A GOOD TIME. However, something must have happened since that night, five long years ago (yes, I did get roaring drunk for the first time at the tiny age of thirteen; blame it on society), because since then, no matter how much alcohol I consumed in how small an amount of time, I never got a hangover anymore. The possibility that my first hangover was the hangover to end all hangovers could play into effect, and I could be getting hangovers but not recognizing them because they do so little to me.
The other possibility is that since that night, five long years ago, I have become alcohol invincible, and I believe it, considering that it takes me so much alcohol to get me drunk that going to a vast winery and sampling all of their varieties would probably not even get me started. It’s disgusting, and one main reason (aside from illegality) that I no longer drink, and plan on not drinking very much once I hit 21.
Enough with the bragging, though. Everyone knows that one step to cure hangovers is to eat food that is high in proteins, fats, and carbs. Why? Because the carbs will suck up the leftover alcohol, the proteins will begin to heal you, and the fats, well, they’re just delicious.
There is, however, a problem. Getting yourself to eat food in the time of hangovers is like trying to eat your own bile on any other day of the week. The smell of bacon sickens you, and that is just wrong in every way. What you need is a light, tasty food that still has protein, fat, and carbs. What you need is pancakes.
Pancakes aren’t sugary until you top them. They also don’t smell like much. They also don’t taste like much, which is perfect for the recovering drunk (a.k.a hungover bastard). You can bite into said pancake without tossing your halfway recycled Jack Daniels all over the floor.
So, here I am, posting delicious pancakes for you, you wine-fiend. I hope that all goes well, and that you understand that hungover cooking is almost as bad as drunk cooking, and I suggest you either learn how to feed from the internet, live close enough to a pancake delivery place, or have a wonderful friend/partner/spouse/child that will cook you real pancakes.
A note for you, dear, is that I chose photographs of healthy-looking, nonsugary pancakes, because I didn’t want to upset your delicate stomach. They still look fabulous to me.
These are cornmeal pancakes. Delicious and buttery and mmm…
These are Greek Yogurt Pancakes with BANANERS. Because yogurt is great with your immune system and soft on the stomach, plus you need some goddamn Potassium after those dirty, dirty things you did that night. That wine bottle is probably weeping.
This picture was more for me. I love the look and smell of pancakes cooking. ❤ Oh boy. I know what’s for breakfast for me!
All in all, I hope you feel better, and that you remember to ask me for my constitution plus lack of hangovers on a loan next time you decide to hit the bottle.