So, we are on day 7 of NaNoWriMo, and I am currently just a little ahead of schedule on the writing, which comes as a surprise to everyone considering how easily distracted this young Telea happens to be. Let me explain the problems I have with writing.
Telea’s come in one shape and size and their natural habitat is anywhere that serves bacon and Nutella. A Telea is a very beauty-loving creature, and can turn anything into something of beauty in it’s minds-eye. Research still hasn’t shown how this is humanly possible, so the Telea has now been classified as Semi-Mega-Humanoid. Since Teleas are so good at seeing everything as beautiful or interesting, they are easily distracted; sometimes by a gigantic garden of beautiful lilies, and sometimes by the way their hands move. Sometimes, admittedly, even by a pencil with a string wrapped around it.
Really, the only way to make a Telea focus on anything for any period of time is to either threaten her, reward her with bacon and nutella, or remove EVERYTHING that could be even slightly interesting from her place of residence. This includes the bed, any writing device, and, in dire cases, the ceilings and floors.
A Telea is an internet omnivore. What this means is that even if you block sites like Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, NaNoWriMo, gaming sites etc. from her computer, she will still be entertained by it, either by finding new websites or simply spending an hour and a half discovering a proxy that will nullify all of your blocks anyway.
A Telea is also incredibly witty and intelligent. You must be careful what you say or do, because a simple comment such as: “This is a formal party, you have to keep it Low-Key.”
Will, in seconds, end in her throwing tables, screaming: “KEEP IT LOKI? I CAN DO THAT! YOU WERE MADE TO KNEEL, AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU, TOO!”
Teleas do indeed look for every excuse not to get something done, and these excuses are including but not limited to the following five.
1. Teleas will spend long hours on Facebook, making the excuse that ‘So-and-So is really upset and they need me to comfort them. This excuse also applies to ‘Reasons Why you CAN’T Shut Off the Interwebs’.
2. Teleas will always say they have homework to do when something more unsavory than homework comes along, such as cleaning her room, babysitting for free, or eating ranch dressing.
3. Teleas become overly flirtatious when they are making excuses for not getting things done. They seek to distract and enthrall you, but you won’t know that until you’ve just finished paying the check at the local Applebees.
4. Teleas will tell you that they’re ‘going through a hard time’ or ‘struggling’ when they’re really trying to avoid something. They will often camouflage themselves to the situation by bursting into tears, yelling, or slamming doors.
5. Teleas will post blogs for people who don’t read them instead of doing almost anything else. This is, of course, only when Teleas have something else to do. If Teleas needs to post a blog, they will do everything else before doing that if at all Semi-Mega-Humanoidly possible.
That’s it for the day!