As you guys know, I’m a really cool cat who promises things and then forgets about them. Everyone loves me because of this simple yet elegantly ridiculous detail, yet I simply feel your frustrations pouring through your veins when you go to check your email and there isn’t a blog post from the wonderfully witty Telea sitting there waiting for you.
Fear no more! I am here (at least for today), I am queer (or at least Bisexual), and don’t get used to me because apparently I’m flakier than Pillsbury Biscuits.
Anyway, we’re discussing some preeettty cool stuff today. First of all, we’re discussing the fact that yes, I am making Youtube videos again, and if there’s anything you would like to see me do (NO STRIPPING), you can just let me know, and chances are I can mock up something nice and cute and funny. Another question to ask is if you guys like the Vlogs, because if so, I can do a once a week vlog in replacement of that day’s blog. Just say the magic words: Boob Canoe.
We’re actually going to skip the part about Daisies, because I feel they’re over-rated and move straight to the Dad issues. It’s just that sometimes my father and I disagree, and I felt it imperative to let you know that I am less than pleased with his antics of late (and probably vice-versa), so I am avoiding him.
Assassins! Lexi was talking about playing Assassins, and now, I really wanna play!! If there is anyone that reads my blog that lives nearby, you should totally be in on this shit, because I have wanted to play that game since eight years before my own conception, and I am making it a reality, goddamn it!!
On another note, I feel incredibly internet popular. So popular, in fact, that I’ve decided that I have come before the internet.
What does that even mean??
What it means, my dearies, is that I am launching a campaign. From now on, Google will be called Teleagle. Ask Jeeves (I KNOW IT’S CALLED ASK.COM NOW BUT SHUT UP!) will be titled Ask Telea. Finally, all dotcoms will be obliterated. They will now be DotTeleas.
Oh man, I haven’t been on Facebook.Telea in a while.
Did you see my post on Tumblr.Telea?
God, http://www.Telea.Telea is the BEST.
Orrrr not. But I have dreams, goals, aspirations. One day, I’ll make the Tabloids. One day, I’ll be on the Cover of New York times, with the Header proclaiming: TELEA DODGE, TOO RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME FOR THE WORLD.
Anyway, Lover is coming over, and I must go prepare my genitals (ahem, I mean take a shower). P.S: Lover and I are just friends, bro. No worries.
Note: The post is being stupid and not publishing right. I apologize to the multiple emails you may or may not have received.