The Horrors of Bathroom Sharing

I live in a small house. A very small house. Originally built over one hundred years ago, this house was initially made to be a ‘One bedroom, one bathroom’ kind of situation. When we moved in nigh on 16 years ago, it became a ‘turn the dining room and pantry into bedrooms and have a communal bathroom’ kind of situation.

POW. The story of how I ended up spending 11 years in an 8×8 room off the kitchen with my little sister has been told. But that is not what we’re discussing right now.

What we’re discussing is growing up in a household with six people and having only one toilet and one shower. Well, that’s not true. We have three toilets. The bathroom toilet, the sketchy basement toilet, and the outhouse, which, at this time of year, would be like pressing your buttcheeks against a slab of ice. And trust me because I know from experience, that is close to the least pleasant thing to be experiencing at 7am.

Back to the one shower bit. We’re not just talking about one shower. We’re also talking about the one water heater that’s connected to that shower. And how said water heater can only handle one shower per two hours or else you’re in for another one of those not pleasant morning experiences: being doused with water that feels like it was pulled from right beneath a glacier.

We’re also talking about how three people needed a shower this morning, and I’m the unlucky one that’s going to be taking the polar plunge. Yes, my dears, life can be unfortunate and it is possible for skin to be this naturally blue. 

Okay, so I’m not in a good mood today. Today is my Preliminary Hearing for that whole Court thing I’m involved in, and I’m scared/nervous/upset/on edge. I also have nothing dressy but cute and subtle to wear. Not that my dressy clothes are whore clothes, just that I don’t have anything dressy, not to mention something dressy and specific.

I’m also starving. So hungry I could bite into the hindquarters of a roasted Hippo. And I really LIKE hippos. But not in an eating way. Unless I’m this hungry.

The obvious answer would be to eat, right? The problem being that breakfast foods are at a bare minimum based on people’s strange eating habits that involve sticking their dirty fingers into the communal food, licking said food off of their fingers, and then sticking their fingers back into the food.

If that disgusts you to the same point that I am disgusted, you need only look in a mirror to see my reaction every morning when I look at the peanut butter.

Anywhoozles, (Oops, sorry Lexi, is that copyright infringement? Wink wink.) I must get on with this day…oh joy.

Love ya!


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

12 responses »

  1. Good luck

  2. yourothermotherhere

    Are you making that up?

  3. Yes, you’re stealing my words and soon I will SUE YOU.

    • You’ll Sue me? But I like my name! Sue is such a bland name. Don’t Sue me! Imagine: Telea Sue Dodge. Ick. Ack.
      And as far as legal terms go, pshh, that’s balderdash. You adore me far too much to sue me.

      • I will sue you if it means I will get you to stop using my words. (; Just kidding. I don’t even care. It just shows that I am awesome and everyone wants to be just like me. My only concern is that if I let you get away with this, you’ll want to copy me further. Start wearing the same makeup, reading the same books, listening to the same music, and eventually wearing my skin…

      • 1. I don’t wear make-up.
        2. I think we already do read similar books, and that’s totally not my bad, we’re just both awesome.
        3. I listen to ALL music, but I think our Genres are slightly different.
        and 4.

      • Haha, I have to wear makeup or I look like gollum. I love books. Yes, no one listens to music like me. 😀

        Yus… so romantic. Please, will you wear my skin?

      • Oh Dearie, I would love to wear your skin. But only if you wear mine, too.

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