I am a dickwagon. A real douchecanoe. Four days of not posting a blog. FOUR DAYS. God, I’m an asshole. But I’m not gonna beat myself up about this.
Yes, I have been lazy about this, and selfish. While I’ve been off having an absolutely killer time, you guys have been here, waiting for me to post, because yes, the blogniverse does revolve around me.
I have been on three nights of adventures, all involving Walmart, one involving grossness, and two involving Taco Bell, food of the gods. I shall now recount the highlights of each adventure for your viewing pleasure. Here goes!
On Thursday night, Matt came and picked me up, and we headed to Rice Lake. Our first stop was Walmart, where we made a funny vlog of us walking around the store and trolling. We went to a gas station to guy gas and smokes, and then went to find this creepy cemetery. We didn’t find said cemetery, and instead spent over and hour being lost and not being able to get back to Rice Lake based on the bridge being out.
I tried chew for the first time, and twenty minutes later, we were pulled over on the side of the road as I (very attractively) puked my guts out. We ended up finding our way home at that point so that I could sleep away the tobacco-induced illness.
On Friday night, Lindsey came and picked me up so we could adventure in Menomonie. We first went to Taco Bell to eat our classic meal, and then headed over to Wally World for some classic good times. Fifty pictures of us dancing in hallways, wearing superhero masks, and generally goofing off later, we were headed to downtown, where the real adventure began.
We took tons of photos of ourselves climbing on buildings, doing headstands in plazas and just having a good time. We decided to go to the Library (which was closed at that point) to look in the dumpster for discarded books. There were these two guys walking across the crosswalk, and Lindsey yelled at them, and, when we were parked, we had them come over and take pictures with us. They said they needed to get to Taco Bell, and Lindsey got a taco craving again, so we drove them there and hung out with them for around 15 minutes.
Just as we all were leaving, we saw two more guys, and got pictures with them, too.
On Saturday night, we got a late start. Lindsey got to my house at 9:30, and we adventured again to Menomonie. Starting with Taco Bell, of course. A manager who had the night off recognized us and hung out with us for twenty minutes until we left. He was flirting with me so hard.
We went to Walmart, where we proceeded to ride bikes, push carts, and wearing skirts around the place. Crazy times.
Back to Downtown, where it was packed with barhoppers. I went to put my shoes in the car, and Lindsey got chased by these two guys. I was laughing so hard I damn near peed myself.
We got pictures with tons of people and I now have a new best friend named Anthony, who I will never see again.
So much excitement, right? Here’s the last bit. We got pulled over by the cops. Crazy stuff. Our registration said it was expired, our headlight was out, and we had no insurance papers in the van. That was my mom’s bad, not mine. He was friendly to a point of creepiness. Or so I thought. He winked at us. Really, no lie.
No tickets or anything, but a scary end to a great night.
I will keep you guys posted on my life in shorter, more frequent posts now. Promise.