A Charmed Life, G-Strings, Extreme Heat, and Cemetary Picnics


For the last two days, I have been sitting on my bitty-bitty-bum (more like booty-booty-BAM!), watching reruns of Charmed on Netflix. In my swimsuit. With a pillow on my tummy, flipped every two minutes to stay cool. It has been a sad (and HOT!) life over here, and I finally have something (semi)adventurous to blog about.

Yay you guys, right? No, nein, yay ME!

Yesterday, the oh-so-gorgeous (watermelon) Cheyenne texted me, and we chatted about this and that, small-talked like champs, annnddd…

That’s the extent of my adventure.

Just kittens! Guys, I am SO just kittens right Meowth!

We made a plan to go swimming, and swimming we went a few hours later. Off we headed to the glorious lake, where glorious water resides, obviously.

We swam (or stood, because Cheyenne is scared of deep water) and just generally had a good time.

We also played G-string. Which is a game we made up on the spot. The game involved Telea rolling her swimsuit bottoms into her buttcrack and seeing how willing she was to wade out of the water and onto the beach. Which is gross, because though Telea has a nice shapely behind, it is also whiter than a whole tub of mayonaisse.

However, we wanted to make new friends, so when we spotted a cute guy sitting out on the log alone, Cheyenn threw all caution to the wind for me and boogie-boarded over deep water to have me meet him.

I suppose an explanation is needed. Cheyenne, that silly goose, has a handsome boyfriend, and believes that all of her closest friends need handsome boyfriends as well.

Spurred on by Cheyenne’s new catchphrase of the day, I made new friends.

He was nice, and he even told me his mother’s name. We are now going to be Facebook friends (he and I, not his mother and I).

I also ran into an old friend from the lake, who we had creeped on just a few weeks before. We run into him often, and he gets a little confused whenever he sees me. Hell if I know why.

We then hopped into Cheyenne’s car, blazed down the highway, yelling: “Go, Betsy, GO!” And looked for a place to eat. We settled on gas station food, and picnicked in the local cemetary, which by day is gorgeous and by night is the classic ‘cemetary on the hill where all those kids died’.

The tombstones date back to the early 1800’s, so it was pretty cool! All in all, it was a really just generally awesome time, and Cheyenne is just generally my favorite Sasquatch/Watermelon of all time.

It’s okay, though, watermelon is sexy.

Anywho, that was my adventure for the day, and uhmmm…

Oh Oh Oh!

Tomorrow we will discuss boys. Or men. Or maybe not. We shall see. Just wait and see…

Muahahahaha.

Love ya!

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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