Ohhh god, where to start? Should we just do a quick cover sentence? Okay. Pride was amazing. Like, beyond everything I could have ever dreamed it would possibly be. That’s how good.
On Saturday, we left off with me talking about heading to Pride. With parking and walking, we didn’t reach the festival until around one. At first, it was kind of eh. There were tons of people, my stomach was ass-hurting, and the park was huge. After a while, though, the pain, confusion, and gay panic vanished. Scratch that last one: what gay panic? We chilled out, enjoyed some booths, made some nonsense and THEN!
We were over by a stage waiting for Antonio (what a dick, really. Like, no lie, friendship suspended), and suddenly, the most beautiful drag queen I had ever seen just pops up on the stage and starts dancing. Her name was Mercedes and I am in love. I later that day got a hug from her!
We then proceeded to go to every booth that had condoms and collect them. We then proceeded to hand these condoms out to attractive people, which is how we met Austin and Lucy. Both of them were incredibly good looking, and they chilled out with us for over an hour.
We then ran into Encendre, who was with a whole crowd of beautiful, wonderful people. That group split in two, and we went with the group headed to the sculpture garden. No lie, THERE IS A CHERRY ON A SPOON OVER A FOUNTAIN!
After this, we regrouped, and created a huge jam circle and met tons of amazing people (I would name them all, but there were butts too many) for hours and hours and hours…and then we went home. It was magnificent.
The next day (Sunday), we rose bright and early to head to the parade. Sadly, parking was bad, so we only caught the tail end of it. We headed back to the park to our old jam session spot, and the whole gang showed up again. OH MY FSM, I MET CORWYN AND HE WAS BEAUTIFUL (but that wasn’t until later) (oh, and we kissed).
Following the trends of the six most gorgeous Lesbians I had ever seen (or kissed), we emblazoned our bodies with the logo ‘Free Kisses, Free Hugs’ and walked around the park. That is the story of how I got buttloads of gay action and a free bracelet.
Also following the trend of the same gorgeous Lesbians, we duct taped our nipples and freeballed for a while, dancing to the music of the dubstep wagon (you heard me).
We then made the biggest Pride Orgy pit ever, and were photographed by tons of people.
SPEAKING OF PHOTOGRAPHS!
I got a picture with these two hot women, one who was painted silver, and the other gold. I then procured free kisses from them. Win.
The orgy pit lasted well into the night, until finally, the Pride crowds dispersed and we started making a plan. We bid farewell to Matt, Kresha, and Liana, and then a large group of us walked to Davani’s pizza, where we nommed like heavyweight champs.
There was the most adorable girl from Africa there, but I am positive she was tripping balls. I wish I could remember her name. It was complicated and African.
We stayed at Davani’s until they asked us to leave, and then headed to the bus to take us home (or to Encendre’s house). There was a mini chillfest there and then lights out.
Trust me, that description did not do Pride justice, but if I type on this phone anymore, my fingers will fall off.
My recommendation is that you show up next year and see for yourself.