I am in a car. I am in a red car. I am in a red car with three other people. I am in a red car with three other people wearing ‘I heart cock’ shirts. I am in a red car with three other people wearing ‘I heart cock’ shirts on my way to Pride.

The Twin Cities Pride Fest is one of the largest Pride Fests in the United States. And I am going there. Just as soon as my ride figures out where the hell we are going.

Anyway, yesterday, I went to a really fun party with music and a guy that looked like a cross between Drew Fuller and Jared Leto.

We flirted for like, an hour, I found out he was from California…

And just as we were leaning in for what was probably going to be the most epic kiss of the century when…

I got cockblocked by my grandmother, who was smashed. She calls my phone and says: I am getting a bad vibe, come home.

Damn. Damn damn damn. One more. Damn.

Okay, we are just about to the park. See you later, lovelies!

Love ya!


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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