Today, everything fell through so quickly that I barely saw it coming. Scratch that, I didn’t see it coming from two and a half million miles away or even six steps away. It happened so suddenly that I just didn’t know how to deal with it, especially considering that I just spent the last four days not sleeping and not eating (long story).
Today was the day I moved into the cities. The Frog party was just coming to a close, the people saying goodbye, roasting the last of the hot dogs, telling the last of the stories, playing the last games of volleyball. It is always a little sad to watch that happen. To see people leaving. Today, I was one of the people leaving. So, I loaded all of my luggage into Purple’s car and we headed off to the cities to see my new temporary home.
Two hours, countless stories and recollections, and just a couple wrong turns, and we were parked in front of the house where I was apparently to stay.
Two knocks on the door and a very cute, very petite girl answers it. She looks at me, confused for a second, recognizing Purple’s face, and then realizing who I am when I introduce myself. I knew there was a problem right away.
Her eyes got a little sad and hazy, and the next words out of her lips I could only partially comprehend. Her words whispered doom across my mind like a faint, dull, lifeless heartbeat. My hands clenched at my sides, my breath shook. No, I couldn’t stay there, because her father, who rents her the house, is very non-obliging to strangers, even one so stunning as myself.
I thanked her for trying, shook her hand, and told her that it had been a pleasure to meet her. She smiled sadly at me, and then I was on my way.
My hands continued shaking, my heartbeat sped up and then softened until I could no longer feel it in my wrists. This had been everything. This had been my world, and now it was tumbling around me like a badly-fashioned house made of straw instead of bricks. I forced tears to stay in my eyes, smiled, and then simply said: shit happens.
My words and actions were not anything like the storm going on inside of me. My body was just barely holding back the shaking floodgates of panic and misery that I was truly feeling. My friends, the way I was feeling was the exact opposite of the day I saw The Avengers. On that day, I had so much hope, and today, I felt as if I had lost it all.
Lucky for me, Purple’s mother offered me a warm bed for the night, and I, of course, accepted. It’s a beautiful (hot) house with beautiful (hot) rooms, and a cozy (meaning hot) feeling to it. Other than the fact that it is fucking hot, it’s very nice, and I feel incredibly grateful.
It is storming outside. The rain is coming down so hard, it’s like god was drinking this weekend and broke the seal, if you know what I’m saying to you right now. Also, the thunder kind of hints at the idea that god was drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon, and so bad beer farts were in order.
I am tired now and posting this from a phone, so it all spells out very clearly:
NOT THE BEST TIME.
I am currently in search of a place to stay. Hopefully, new plans will be made of brick and not straw.