Let Me Sing You the Song of Goodbye

As you all probably know by now, Telea is embarking on a great adventure. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re all sick of hearing about said adventure and you wish that Telea would get back to being all surreal and funny and cute and stuff but NO, on and on and on she goes about the packing, the goodbyes, the weird accent she’s developing, and most of all, how many times she has pooped today.

Let’s try to stay positive through all the downers. Let us take a break and be zen for just a few cute little seconds, reflect on the meaning of life and OH MY GOD, MY HAND IS A DOLPHIN!

This is going to be a very very short and random blog post. I am frazzled beyond belief, my mother needs use of the computer, and we are in the process of making about 50 million gallons of Hummus for the party. So far, we have three people here, and it is a very nice chill little thing going on, with talking and setting up and last-minute stuff.

My dad opened a beer the second someone drove up.

“Well, it’s a party now, so I can.”

That’s what he said. Rock the fuck on, right? Ehh, maybe. For me, I kinda just wanna take a nap in the arms of a certain person buttttt…we shall not discuss that right now because it just depresses me far too much.

To finish, we are going to discuss an exciting and scary thing that happened to me today.

So, there I was, laying in the middle of the road like a half-stupid parched turtle, the stink of sweat, over-worn shoes, and gym shorts clinging to me like a very damp, very smelly parasite, when shwwoooooooooooeeeeeeerrrrkkkkk (that’s the noise of a car coming over the hill)…I scrambled like an almost-cooked breakfast food (get it? Eggs!!), but almost not fast enough.

Right as I was high-tailing it off the road like a prideful lion who just got his ass kicked by a frustrated Wildebeest, the car came rushing (1342027 miles per hour, I swear to god) and almost hit me. The horn sounded, my feet egged (or scrambled) some more, and I was off the road and safely in the confines of my driveway.

As to why I was laying in the middle of the road…don’t ask, don’t tell.

Love ya!


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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