As you all probably know by now, Telea is embarking on a great adventure. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re all sick of hearing about said adventure and you wish that Telea would get back to being all surreal and funny and cute and stuff but NO, on and on and on she goes about the packing, the goodbyes, the weird accent she’s developing, and most of all, how many times she has pooped today.
Let’s try to stay positive through all the downers. Let us take a break and be zen for just a few cute little seconds, reflect on the meaning of life and OH MY GOD, MY HAND IS A DOLPHIN!
This is going to be a very very short and random blog post. I am frazzled beyond belief, my mother needs use of the computer, and we are in the process of making about 50 million gallons of Hummus for the party. So far, we have three people here, and it is a very nice chill little thing going on, with talking and setting up and last-minute stuff.
My dad opened a beer the second someone drove up.
“Well, it’s a party now, so I can.”
That’s what he said. Rock the fuck on, right? Ehh, maybe. For me, I kinda just wanna take a nap in the arms of a certain person buttttt…we shall not discuss that right now because it just depresses me far too much.
To finish, we are going to discuss an exciting and scary thing that happened to me today.
So, there I was, laying in the middle of the road like a half-stupid parched turtle, the stink of sweat, over-worn shoes, and gym shorts clinging to me like a very damp, very smelly parasite, when shwwoooooooooooeeeeeeerrrrkkkkk (that’s the noise of a car coming over the hill)…I scrambled like an almost-cooked breakfast food (get it? Eggs!!), but almost not fast enough.
Right as I was high-tailing it off the road like a prideful lion who just got his ass kicked by a frustrated Wildebeest, the car came rushing (1342027 miles per hour, I swear to god) and almost hit me. The horn sounded, my feet egged (or scrambled) some more, and I was off the road and safely in the confines of my driveway.
As to why I was laying in the middle of the road…don’t ask, don’t tell.