In the world of Telea, relationships extending past a good friendship or a casual snugglemance are just a little ridiculous and scary. Let’s compare the romantic adventures of Telea to the relationship between Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny. No matter how many times Elmer has his gun right by Bug’s rabbit hole, he’s never gonna bang him. Okay, that was a bad reference (my level 50 NPC Blogger Troll strikes again, making all of my honest confessions into mockeries). It’s more like Roadrunner and Wile. E. Coyote. Wile. E. Coyote keeps chasing what he wants, but he never catches it. Either that, or it’s not the thing he really wanted. These are not the clones you’re looking for.
So, when I made the mistake of actually taking a romantic liking to a certain man (who lives five miles from my house, thank Satan for finally finding someone in my area), I was somehow relieved when I found out he was playing me. At the same time, I wish to not remove, but maybe seriously damage, his male genitalia.
The reason (other than getting played)? I didn’t initially want him for anything more than some nice snuggles. I love snuggles. But THEN! On our first night actually hanging out, he kisses me (annd ohhh myyy godddl I really know how to pick the good kissers), and later tells me that he felt a spark.
What?! Oh my holy Satanic Allah! My heart, naturally, starts beating just a little faster. My fingertips quiver. My legs shake. I bite my lip, shrug off my jacket…and run screaming from the cell phone I received this text on. It was scary, and I was (trolling the redundancy quite well) scared. When I finally (two hours later) got the nerve to text him back, I realized I liked him just a wee bit as well. So I took a teensie weensie bit of my heart, and I trusted him with it…THAT BASTARD!!!
Anyway, the gist of this story is that though I am making many efforts to see this semi-attractive hunk of man, I am getting rejected on all sides. No car, blew my bike tire out, and he was busy. I’m complaining now.
My solution? Logical me says drop it, and drop it hard. Play hot potato with that sunufamonkeysuncle. However, the miniromantic in me is swelling to four times its normal size and forcing me to continue chasing after him, even though he is also chasing another (more beautiful) woman.
What a hot mess.
The truth about us is that there is no us, and also no we. There is a semi-mutual I, and there is a double-sided you. With a big want stuck right in the middle. Ohhh drama, drama, drama.