I have this tendency to mess up…a lot. I think that if you’re an avid reader of my little blog here, you may have gotten that idea already. But then again, you may think just like me, and you may not see the error of my ways until it’s far too late to go back and try to fix anything. Well, in my town it’s too late. Because there are just those few people who will not let things go, nor will they ever actually forgive you in any way. Shouldn’t have said that. No more questions. DON’T ASK ANY MORE QUESTIONS!
It’s okay, though, because I have time on my side. Meaning that I will get out of this town, and though my record will follow me, the places I’m going will generally be more accepting of my bad choices. Because that’s the way things are. In small towns, things get around and you get in a lot more trouble because everyone knows and they want to bring you down (jealousy issues and all that jazz. I have a lot going for me, doncha know?). In big cities, the shit I do will look like a fly on the back of an elephant doing a handstand. Insignificant in comparison.
I think my biggest problem is that when bad things are happen, I make choices that elevate the situation rather than calm it down. Because when I’m upset and angry, I make more bad decisions, and then when they get around, I’m in more trouble. WHAT. AN. IDIOT. Exhibit A.
I recently got a large piercing kit in the mail so that I could do my own body piercings. I also researched how to do these body piercings, what to avoid, etc. etc. What I forgot to research were the laws regarding piercing the bodies of other people, and I swiftly and surely hit myself down by making that fatal error. As in, Telea, honestly, how could you be so stuuppid? NICHOLAS FLAMMEL! I pierced some belly buttons, I did, and on school grounds, no less. I’m an idiot (I need to sort out my priorities) and this is the kind of thing I should really think about. But then again, I was upset, and when people are upset, they make the least rational decisions they can, because fuck common sense or regards to the future.
I’m not exactly the smartest tool in the shed right now. Me? Books and cleverness. There are more important things: friendship and bravery. And Harry, just be careful. (Oh, that was too obvious, my name isn’t Harry).
Now, I am being watched like a naughty puppy. Just kidding, people are cute with naughty puppies. Let’s compare the way I’m being treated to that of a recently rejailed former convict. Every step I take is monitored. Every second in the building has to be accounted for. Hell, I can’t even go to the bathroom without being accompanied by a teacher. Do you have any idea how awkward it is to know your teacher is listening to you pee? It’s pretty bad, I’ll tell you what.
I will be eating my lunch (oh, that oh-so-delicious jail food) in the office. I will have my study hall (my one hour of freedom, go figure) in solitary confinement. I will be escorted to every class all the time, and I will not be allowed to leave class under fear that I will have somehow acquired more needles and will shoot them like darts from my ‘poisonous whore mouth’ at the throats of innocent (HAH) passerbys. It’s generally a good time. You’re a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant! …but scary. So, in order to get through these rough times (that I did, admittedly, bring upon myself), I repeat this mantra.
Eleven more days. Just eleven more days. Eleven fucking days. Eleven days.
This is directly correlated to the number of weekdays that remain in my Junior year of High School. Two weeks isn’t so bad. I can survive, I’m obviously a fighter. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.
On a side note, I pierced my lip last night (too chicken to do my nose, but then spend twenty minutes ramming a needle through my lip and then trying to get the stud through), and today it is a wee bit swollen. The solution? Lots of dark red lipstick. Trust me.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m heading off, before either of me come up with another clever idea to get me killed…or worse, expelled.
On that note, I leave you.