I have been to space. In a rocketship. Just kittens, but I have had dreams of going to space in a rocket ship on many a fine night, including last night, when my dreams were a mixture of the Avengers, the third Transformers movie, and the song by Nicki Minaj. Messed up as fuck, is what I’m trying to tell you right now. What I have a problem with is these lyrics right here…
Starships were made to fly, hands up and touch the sky.
Okay, moral issues, anyone? No one at all? It’s really just me? Let me explain all of my problems with these simple eleven words.
Starships. Really? No, really? I don’t know if she’s trying to be original or if she just didn’t go to school for as long as she should have. It’s a spaceship. It’s a rocketship. It is not, ever, not in one hundred years, a fucking starship. Do you know why?You’re not traveling to the fucking stars.When has there been a space expedition to go land on/research stars? The only one that seems to be of any interest to NASA is the sun, and that is not a star, it’s a Super Nova.
Made to fly. No, no, Nicki, ‘Starships’ were meant to take off from the ground at impossible speeds, fueled by a special kind of gas made specifically for rockets, break through many layers of the atmosphere, and then take up a status of constantly falling through space. That’s what happens. In space, you’re always falling. What’s pretty much the opposite of falling? Flying, maybe?
Hands up and touch the sky. This is just very technical right now, and I could nitpick a thousand other songs for this, but, uhmm, I think it’s pretty physically impossible to touch the sky, on many grounds. Such as, your arms aren’t long enough. And..the sky is an abstract noun, like freedom. You can’t touch it, literally. It is not something you can feel with yourself. In fact, if we’re getting super, super, deep…there’s a possibility that the skydoesn’t exist.You know, because someone is dreaming us. But I digress.
Now, before you start hating, I do have something to say to you.
Whenever I go clubbing, and this song comes on, I am just like every other sucker in the room. I dance my ass off, cheer loudly, sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs, and when they tell me to put my hands up, well, fuck, I can’t be the only person in the room with their hands down, now, can I? Those motherfucking hands have a life of their own.
But I digress.
Haha, anywho, that’s it for the day.