Starships were made to…float in the cold, black, abyss.


I have been to space. In a rocketship. Just kittens, but I have had dreams of going to space in a rocket ship on many a fine night, including last night, when my dreams were a mixture of the Avengers, the third Transformers movie, and the song by Nicki Minaj. Messed up as fuck, is what I’m trying to tell you right now. What I have a problem with is these lyrics right here…

Starships were made to fly, hands up and touch the sky.

Okay, moral issues, anyone? No one at all? It’s really just me? Let me explain all of my problems with these simple eleven words.

Starships. Really? No, really? I don’t know if she’s trying to be original or if she just didn’t go to school for as long as she should have. It’s a spaceship. It’s a rocketship. It is not, ever, not in one hundred years, a fucking starship. Do you know why?You’re not traveling to the fucking stars.When has there been a space expedition to go land on/research stars? The only one that seems to be of any interest to NASA is the sun, and that is not a star, it’s a Super Nova.

Made to fly. No, no, Nicki, ‘Starships’ were meant to take off from the ground at impossible speeds, fueled by a special kind of gas made specifically for rockets, break through many layers of the atmosphere, and then take up a status of constantly falling through space. That’s what happens. In space, you’re always falling. What’s pretty much the opposite of falling? Flying, maybe?

Hands up and touch the sky. This is just very technical right now, and I could nitpick a thousand other songs for this, but, uhmm, I think it’s pretty physically impossible to touch the sky, on many grounds. Such as, your arms aren’t long enough. And..the sky is an abstract noun, like freedom. You can’t touch it, literally. It is not something you can feel with yourself. In fact, if we’re getting super, super, deep…there’s a possibility that the skydoesn’t exist.You know, because someone is dreaming us. But I digress.

Now, before you start hating, I do have something to say to you.

Whenever I go clubbing, and this song comes on, I am just like every other sucker in the room. I dance my ass off, cheer loudly, sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs, and when they tell me to put my hands up, well, fuck, I can’t be the only person in the room with their hands down, now, can I? Those motherfucking hands have a life of their own.

But I digress.

Haha, anywho, that’s it for the day.

Love ya!

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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