EFFECTIVE (Sadly) IMMEDIATELY!!!


Hola, my fellows who read this terrible blog that I forget to update! Okay, I have some bad news for you guys who truly love me and yadda yadda yadda. I will be posting about 50 percent (or more) less often for this next while. I can’t say how long, and I can’t guarantee that I will ever come back as a completely reliable blogger. This isn’t by my choice, in fact, it makes me ridiculously sad, and I will try to post as often as possible. So don’t be all like: “Oh, she was lying.” , If I end up posting five times next week or something like that. I’m not lying, I’m just not sure how much time I will have for all of your lovelies.

A lot of bad stuff has been happening in my life. The kind of bad stuff I would find exceedingly difficult to write about in any sort of humorous fashion, so you will either hear about it later when I have a better sense of humor, or you will not hear it at all. I’m going to say I take a lot of the blame for the things that have been going down, but, then again, I know that people just blow things way out of proportion, and that I’m not in the wrong as much as people assume I am. That’s human nature, and I just have to deal with it for the entire rest of my life.

Some good updates about my life are as follows.

I have officially begun making total bank off of selling piercings. As in, someone needs a belly ring replacement? I’ll sell you one for two dollars instead of ten. Why? Because I bought a whole ton of them online in bulk, and I want you to have the best deal possible (a.k.a, I bought 100 lip rings for 5 dollars, and now, you just more than paid for all of them by buying three of them.). It’s efficient, it’s legal, it’s reliable, and it’s a guarantee. Any piercing that I have, I will sell. Brand new. For two dollars.

Don’t be all like

 “Oh, I’m gonna buy from her!”

 though, because, if you want them, you have to pay shipping, too (ehh, prolly still a better deal anyway).

Mooooocowing on. I am currently sitting in an in-school suspension, typing all of this out on Microsoft Office Word, because I’ll get in more trouble if they find me updating my blog. Shhh, don’t tell.

The topic of the day is…

FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER DO AT A PUBLIC SCHOOL!!! (Disclaimer: I did not do any (or at least, all) of these).

  1. Write a short story for English that is very heavily based on how much you hate a teacher, with direct references to their jobs, lives, families, etc.
  2. Openly admit to a teacher that you do not like them at all. Though one out of a thousand times they will appreciate your honesty, most of the time, they will take a disliking to you, your moral values, your job, your live, and your family.
  3. Expose any part of your body in any way, other than everything between your knees and your ankles, your neck and your scalp, and your elbows and fingertips. So, basically, DO dress like a nun. Do NOT dress like a normal human being who has a job, life, or a family.
  4. Sing loudly in the hallways. Or do anything loudly in the hallways. Just generally stay very quiet in the hallways. Don’t touch other people in the hallways. Don’t skip, jump, teeter, trip, wiggle, smile, project, protect, or infect in the hallways. Don’t laugh, cry, eat, die, kill, fly in the hallways. Also, don’t be Dr. Seuss in the hallways, it doesn’t work out for you or anyone else or their jobs, lives, or families.
  5. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT (!!!!!) EVER (!!!!!!) NEVER (!!!!!!) act like me in/on/under  your hallways, classrooms, buses, homes, cars, rooms, closets, beds, desks, chairs, tables, computers, lawns, fields, dams, rivers, estuaries, continents, polar ice caps, satellites, ninja base camps, area 51, Liverpool, The Eiffel tower, creeks, streams, bushes, oceans, or any land mass here or in any galaxy far far away. It may have immediate and ridiculous effects on you, your job, your life, and your family.

 

Love Ya!

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

3 responses »

  1. What have you done in Liverpool?

    Reply

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