I know you want me…to do things you want to do.


Okay, so, we have yet another request, from yet another same person. It’s all good, this is a really good request. By the way, did you guys notice that I now have a request page where you can tell me what you want me to write about? Ohhh, it’s so exciting I could die.

Kyle is reading over my shoulder and making fun of every word I type, which is making it very difficult to do anything about this whole blogging situation at all. Kyle needs to stop it right now, or I will punch Kyle right in his hairy (and overly pink) nipple.

Anywho, moving on, our request for today (compliments of bpshielsy, www.bipolarplace1.wordpress.com) is as follows.

“OK my third & last request is…Who & much more importantly why, would win in a movie between the forces of Evil & Good.

The Evil having three baddies of Darth Vader, Voldermort & Hitler
The Good having three goodies of Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter & Oskar Schindler.

Lett the battle commence…”

Okay, this is a great question, because I know all about all of these characters. Let’s do the pros and cons of each person. Pros in bold, cons underlined.

Darth Vader

Sweet Outfit, Has a great grasp on the force, cool lightsaber, Real name Anakin, Cool voice, Overly Cocky, Has a son who is out to destroy him, Still loves that one chick (I refuse to say her name), Real last name Skywalker, Muffed up face.

Voldemort

Horcruxes, Lacks a nose (thus can’t smell gross shit), Has been around a while, has a ton of loyal followers, Is overly cocky, had a ton of horcruxes destroyed, some followers are double agents.

Hitler

Very smart, very cunning, original mustache, good at strategy and writing out battle plans, inspiring speech-giver, good at bribes, Is short, is manic depressive, has daddy issues, has powerful enemies, really wanted to be a fucking artist, gets angry semi-easily.

Luke Skywalker

I have nothing nice to say about this man. He is a pussy, all the way through. Luke Skywalker should not have been able to beat Darth Vader, and should not have been born. I’m sorry, I just see no good. His pro, I suppose, is that he has a lightsaber. Good?

Harry Potter

Is British, Has a sweet scar, is the real owner of the elder wand, is scrawny, is not attractive, is a horcrux, is very pale and hairy, is only a kid.

Oskar Shindler

Is awesome, is amazing, is cool, is a good man, is a protector of the Jews, is kind of crazy (that can be good), has a large amount of loyal followers, saved a ton of people, has a tendency to put business matters above his wife, spends large quantities of money.

Well, sir, the pros and cons are in, and I have another group to add, who will not get pros and cons, they will just be…there.

Smeagle, from LOTR. Classic Neutral selfish character.

Loki, Norse God. Not evil, just power-hungry and incredibly misunderstood.

The Autobots. Primarily good, but only in the view of humans. If their job is to help the humans, then some of the things they do would be bad…which makes them neutral.

I’m sorry, but team three wins. Just saying. Neutral team, the underdogs, yes. In the original battle, Shindler was kinda pulling the good team through, by the way, just because he’s my hero…so yeah, it’s an opinion. The reason the neutral team wins is because…

Butts.

Love ya!

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

9 responses »

  1. Still chuckling. I doff my cap ma’am! A well crafted piece of writing…

    “Original Moustache” love it 🙂

    Reply
  2. May I re-post this on my blog? I’ll give full credit to you & your fine blog of course.

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Check Out This Blogger! « The Bipolar Place

  4. Forgot to ask, but what the hell does this mean

    “The reason the neutral team wins is because…

    Butts.”

    Or is that it, they win because you say so?

    Reply
  5. ha ha ok

    & I agree there do seem to be more breast people out there. That said, Kim & J-Lo are waging a spirited war for the minority.

    Reply
    • If you’re talking about Kim Kardashian…
      I approve of the butt…she just makes a bad name for the minority with the way she acts.
      I would say that I am also making quite the scene, and will be making an even bigger scene when I start losing my winter tummy fat and that booty gets supa pronounced.
      Butts!

      Reply
  6. Totally agree, I despise her personality, where as the wife is addicted to keeping up with the arl’ bint

    Ha ha enjoy prom

    Reply

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