What a nice break that was. You, know, the weekend. That thing that can’t possibly last long enough and that you regret wasting when it’s gone. This one was a decent one, though I probably put on 15 pounds with all the junk food I consumed, and I am now missing George quite terribly.
This was a weekend when I made a new friend, by the name of Paul. How did I make this friend? Well, first of all, he’s not just a friend…we are now married. Not all official-like, no, this never was approved by a court of law, but deep in all four of our hearts, we know that we are married. He has a mouth like Justin Long and he is very cute…and he lives in Washington. Good job on the long-distance marriage, Telea.
We met on Omegle, and usually (generally always) I don’t give any of my personal information away to strangers on Omegle. Like, that is so against Telea laws. But this one was different. I don’t know whether it was his eyes, wide and excited like a puppy, or his mouth, large and Justin Long-ish…he had me at
“I have a zombie-killing knife.”
On to more serious (or not) business. Again, I have a request…and again, it’s byshielsy that has requested said request…or some such nonsense. Again, I am advertising…and no, I’m not going to block you, because that would be rude.
The request is a list of my five top movies and why. By the way…are you hinting that I need to go back to my old list of five format? It kinda seems like you’re kicking me in that direction.
1. The Breakfast Club. Hands down, the best movie in existance. Cult Classic? Yes. Good Soundtrack? Hell to the yes. Bender is a total hottie? Uh, bro, so obviously FUCK YES! I can’t think of one downfall to this movie, from the awkward start to the ‘Don’t you forget about me’ ending. To the outside world they were simply the Jock, the Brain, the Criminal, the Princess and the Kook, but to each other, they would always be the Breakfast Club. Ahhh, it’s so inspiring I want to take my pants off!
2. Forrest Gump. Does this happen to be the only movie that starred Tom Hanks that I loved? Why, yes, other voice in Telea’s head, it does. Also, does this movie happen to make you cry every time you watch it?
…Like a baby. Like a goddamn child who hit her head on a spiked mace and was now bleeding to death. That’s how hard this movie makes me cry. Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far, far far away.
3. Transformers trilogy. No, I can’t pick my favorite one, and yes, I consider them to be one movie broken up into three parts…for easier watching. I could marathon the shit out of these movies like, five times a day, if time allowed. I could state that there better be Autobots in heaven, and I can attest to the fact that every time I see a car even resembling a 1977 Chevy Camaro that is painted yellow with a black stripe…I scream out to it and beg it to let me be it’s Sam. I’m not lying.
I have laid down in a Walmart parking lot crying my eyes out, screaming for one of those cars to be a real Autobot. This was, of course, after the second time I went to the theaters to see Transformers 3…which I saw in theaters a total of 4 times…and cried every time.
4. The 10th Kingdom. TV Miniseries. Based on a book of the same name by Simon Moore. Tenhourslong. A ten hours worth wasting, I’d say. If you haven’t seen this movie, I require you to watch it all the way through…tonight…and then tell me what you think. This movie shaped my childhood. This movie made me real. This movie…changed my life.
Okay, fine, I won’t take it that far, but the fact is…watch it.
5. Cool Runnings. Yes, I said it, I said it, I said it coz…
FEEL THE RHYTHM! FEEL THE RHYME! GET ON UP, IT’S BOBSLED TIME!!!
Watch it, that’s all.