What Do You Do When George Gets Sick?


Your first question when reading the title of this blog will probably be something along the lines of:

“Who the Hell is George?”

Directly followed by:

“Why is George sick? Is it serious?”

The thing is, if you don’t know George…you don’t know anyone. George is everywhere. George is omnipotent. Nobody actually has any idea who George is, so let me sum it up.

George is this thing I keep in my pocket. He’s small, and he’s very light. He likes to make everyone happy…all the time.

Twenty Questions says…

Is George a Dildo?

No, Twenty Questions, that is incorrect. Guess again.

George is smaller than a dildo and bigger than…a match. He doesn’t scream when he burns, but he does get exhausted. Sometimes, George gets some clogging in the ol’ pipes, if you know what I’m saying. That’s what happened. Now, here’s another interesting fact about George.

George can’t excrete his waste products on his own. He just. Can’t. Do it.

So, people have to help George, which isn’t such a disgusting task, but the thing is…he was really clogged last night. I swear, I could hear this little ‘inanimate object scream’ coming from him as I shoved his little plunger into him to try and fix everything that was wrong.

Twenty Questions says…

“Is George a Midget?”

…What? Wait…no, really…what?

Let’s move on before things get out of hand.

Twenty Questions says:

“Is George a dead child?”

Twenty Questions says:

“Is George your Vagina?”

Oh my Rainbow Dash, YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT!

Twenty Questions says:

“Really?”

No, Twenty Questions, you’re retarded. Fuck off.

Now that Twenty Questions has powered off, let’s discuss our topic. Love.

Twenty Questions says:

“Bro, that’s such a cliche topic. Choose something else.”

Shut your whore mouth, Twenty Questions! I made you.

We’re talking about love because I’m a little bit in a pickle about it. I’m all shook up. I can’t think straight…I don’t want to think straight. I want to just soar on cloud nine and not have to worry about anything. I don’t want to have to worry about being in love at all. That’s not what I want my life to be about right now.

Apparently, I don’t have a choice. I have fallen. Hard. For two people. Character profiles?

He was a lad from the city, eighty miles away. We met very fortuitously, and I immediately felt great feelings of love for him. I didn’t know where these feelings had come from, considering he was threatening me with a knife at the time, but I knew they were real, and that they were going to stick around. Stick around they did, and rainbows, butterflies, drug abuse, and late-night facebook chats ensued. Every time I talked to him, I felt like I was floating, every time, my heart began to beat a little bit faster. But there were problems. There were many reasons why I tried to not love him. He was bad for me, and would end up hurting me. We both knew it. We both knew we were circling around each other in a game that was more like a vicious dog fight of love, and would end with someone dead.

She was a girl from a city far away. It was almost like the beginning of a Faerie Tale when we first encountered each other. She lived in ever after and I lived…in a little village far, far away. Let’s just say that everything seemed perfect. We were both so weak, but so strong at the same time. We both had pain deeper than most could understand or comprehend. We were both alone in a room full of people. Instantly, I felt this deep connection. Instantly, I was trying to push down feelings of love for her. It got worse. It got stronger, but the thing is, connections need to be made face to face, and I couldn’t trust myself. That’s why it’s called a Faerie Tale. There’s always grief, and misery…and so much unwanted pain. If we would take a chance, if we would go for it…maybe everything would be okay. I feel like I need to know.

I’m stuck. I can’t pick a road, because there’s a difference between not knowing what’s down the road and barely knowing the name of the road. I need a direction, but I’m not seeing anywhere I can stop for instructions.

Well, that’s my drama. I know, it seems so little and petite.

Haha, love ya!

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

3 responses »

  1. Go with the second option

    Reply

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