Oh, the places you’ll go! Oh, the things that you’ll see!

I have reasons for extreme joy and extreme sadness. I have been blog-creeping, and I have discovered not one…but two more people who blog who are infinitely better and more successful than I am. Even more attractive. Here’s my little story for you.

It was approximately 8:26 in the morning on a beautiful Thursday evening. I had just risen at 6:45 in the afternoon (meaning before the sun rose) to take my holy fifteen minutes of praise (also known as my shower, in which waters from what I can only assume is heaven crash down on me like waves of steamy silk). Now, I sat in the far back corner of a computer lab, where work should have been getting done. All the usual suspects were on the scene. There was Handbasket, who continued to outdo me in the happiness department, there was Beyer, the man who has decided to make me sad all the time, and there was my muse, George, who smiled at me through the depths of my owl bag from across the hall. Also here was my amazing gay friend, who prefers not to be named, whispering in my ear about the latest men in his life. It was a perfect start to what I could only assume was another incredible day of monotony and small-town gay panic. Rest assured, I’m spending my life trying to get the hell out of here.

Anyway. The minutes were passing by, and I had yet to feel my usual inspiration, so I decided (rather wisely) to peruse the blog of Handbasket, who writes more about her life than I do. Whilst getting my ‘creep’ on, I noticed a blogger had liked her post about the weekend. I thought: ‘How incredible, Handbasket has a fanbase.’ Right in the middle of being proud of her, I also noticed that this fanbase was attractive. After clicking the link, I discovered that he was funny…and gay. Oh the sadness of a teenage girl when she finally realizes that all of the most delicious and amusing men are gay! After getting over the severe cruelty of the world and pronouncing that I was going on a fem-only kick, I began reading deeply. Then, I began loving.

There is only so much love in the world, my dear friends, and so, when you fall in love with one thing, sometimes, you may become disenchanted by something you had previously had much interest in. I lost faith in myself and my blog, as this man…has outdone me in so many ways. I cursed myself and the winds of fate, followed his blog, followed Sweet Mother’s blog, and then, finally, got to my own, sad, disgusting excuse for a blog post.

I think it’s time to link you guys up.



I have decided that my blogs don’t always have to be about lists of five, as they are beginning to tire me greatly. There is no longer any more structure than the topic-picking, which still happens to be absolutely the hardest part. It’s very similar to when you have to plant a garden, and a ton of quack grass grows in this garden, and begins to choke out your beautiful flowers. This is beginning to sound like a metaphor for the amount of spam-based comments I recieve. Moving on, in order to see the beautiful flowers, you have to pull out the quack.

So, flowers are ideas, and quack is…bad ideas. You really have to tug yourself away from terrible, horrible, no good, very bad ideas.

I’m done.

Love ya!


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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