Boyyyy, I got a date today!

Okay, so, let’s follow the story of Telea’s brilliant life, in which everything (including all things bad) is brilliant today. I don’t care that I’m being accused of a million thousand (three) things, because this dear Telea…

Has a semi-kinda-a little bit-possibly real-informal date today!

Ahhh, feel free to stand and applaud, my dear compatriots, because this date is not only HELLA sexy, but also everything else. Ahh, I’m making little noises of joy in my throat. Now, nothing can be concrete or said for sure, but I’m just going to say…if you’re starting at point A, on a destination to point C, I would say I’m at point B. Hopefully.


I have told this story about eight (thousand) times today, so I think I’m just gonna let it rest with the fact that I might have a date, and that, if nothing else, I at least have someone to chill with after school.

Moving on, today we’re talking about things that are thingy. Yes, I know. I’m terrible it Blog-Stalling, and if I would just stop typing for five minutes to think up a topic instead of writing about not having one, none of us would have this issue.

Five great date ideas (for your demon lover).

1. Human hunting. Your demon lover will be hungry, and you will be able to help him or her out by grabbing your crossbow from the basement and saying:

“Honey, let’s go kill our neighbors.’

2. Vacation to hell. Who doesn’t want to visit their birthplace once in a while? Take your lover on a three-day tour of where he or she grew up, and end it with a romantic flesh picnic in purgatory.

3. Get him or her an undead minion. Take them on a shopping trip through their favorite cemetary and have them choose which flavor of minion they would like, and then raise them like you would raise the roof at Satan’s Bar Mitzvah.

4. Go terror by night. Scaring people in the dark is one of the things some demons like to do. Inhabit a small or large city for a week or so and torture and frighten people.

5. There is nothing a demon likes more than a road trip. Plot out a tour of all the hell-gates or openings to purgatory and just go everywhere. Your demon will be so pleased with the thought (and all the time alone with you), that they will have no choice but to turn you into a demon yourself.

Trust me, I would know.

Love ya!


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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