I’m so stoned I feel tired…wait…it’s the other way around.


It’s play week. As in, we perform our play this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. This means practices run a whole lot longer and later into the night. This means that if I’m going to have time to run my lines for the play to do the play, I have to do them right after school up until 5:30, when practice actually starts. Practice is supposed to run until 8, but it generally goes closer to 9. So, when I finally get home at 9:30…I’m beat, but guess what? I still have FUCKING HOMEWORK TO DO.

I’m stressing out big time, and so, this means that my sleep is restless…which means I’m dead tired and only half-aware of what’s going on. I’m writing a short blog today and then sleeping through Study Hall, if that’s okay wih you.

As a few of you may have noticed (if you are bloggers here as well), we recently got this handy little map right on our stats page saying what part of the world our creepers (or followers, as we politely call them) are from. Today, I’m giving a shout-out to the Phillipines, because, in the last week, they have had the absolute most devotion to my blog. I don’t know what it is, but the fact that you guys think I rock makes me believe strongly that you rock. An imaginary box of chocolates and money is being pretend-shipped to you as I speak.

List of five time.

Five weird reasons to stay the fuck home.

1. There’s people out there, away from home. We haven’t yet determined if they are friendly or malicious, as this is a strange and foreign planet we so happen to reside on. This means they could be DANGEROUS! Best not to take our chances with those guys. Best to huddle up here, underneath 8 large comforters (even in the middle of summer) and cry ourselves to sleep.

2. Outside my home, the ground is made of LAVA! If I go out there without special lava boots (which I can’t afford), I will burn and die a very painful death. I don’t want to be like Golem from the Lord of the Rings, so I’ll just stay here, underneath my 8 comforters (yes, huddled under here it is like the inside of a volcano) and cry myself to sleep.

3. It’s a sin to covet thy neighbor’s possessions, and everyone seems to have something cooler than me. That guy has Air Conditioning, and that girl has 3 box fans. Why do they get to be cooler? IT’S NOT FAIR! This is why I’m just going to curl up underneath these 8 (manually air-controlled) comforters, and cry myself to sleep.

4. The chances of getting yourself into a horribly terrible accident are more likely within two miles of home. But the chances of getting yourself into a horribly terrible accident decrease exponentially when you never EVER leave your home. If you want excitement, just crawl underneath 8 (very safe and well-padded) comforters and cry yourself to sleep.

5. No one wants to see a gross, bloated, dead person, so when you drown in your sweat and tears, you’ll be doing the world a favor by staying the fuck home.

Love ya!

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

One response »

  1. Goodness. Haha! Get out of there, and actually date yourself.

    Reply

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