Happy Sunday, my fair people. Some updates for you! Viewership has dropped from an average of 20 views a day to an average of 4. Yes, this does depress me slightly, but I’m still going to work on being the best I can be, just for you loyal few who still actually care about my blatherings and glompness.
I think maybe I should add a section in my blog where I give you endless compliments, because every likes being told they’re pretty.
Which brings us to our topic of the day: Bitchy Women who need far too much attention.
I can understand having a bitch fest sometimes, but all the time? No way, no how.
I’m going to cover this topic with a list of three, because, basically, I’m really lazy and busy today and I have to go get ready for my mini-plans, capiche?
Five Good Reasons for Women to be Bitchy and their not-so-good counterparts.
1. They are on their periods. I mean, come on, we’ve discussed this before. However, countering what I may or may not have said before in a previous blog post, this does not give them the right to take it out on everyone around them. You know what I do when I’m on my period? I smile and stick through the day and then throw things in my room and cry myself to sleep. The classic ‘women can’t control their hormones’ thing is absolutely ridiculous, I mean, really. Same goes for guys. ‘Guys can’t control their dicks’? Really? If none of us can control anything, then we should just give up now, since the women who can’t control their hormones are going to rip off the dicks of the men who can’t control them.
2. They ran out of ice cream. Yes, this is a problem. I know, I never have ice cream, so I’ve learned to deal. Mostly since I don’t have much of an ice cream craving. Howabouts…they ran out of anything chocolate. This does happen to me, and it does piss me off a little. There’s this little lie living in most women’s heads that they absolutely CANNOT live without chocolate. On a bad day, we eat chocolate. On a good day, we eat chocolate. We dream in chocolate. Okay, maybe not that extreme for some (I’m exaggerating for myself, since I only get a hankering once in a long while), but you get it. The same need is felt for men, except in the form of ‘I want to stick my dick in something’. Yes, I’m stereotyping, no, I don’t care. The simple fact is, at one point in time, chocolate didn’t even exist to us, and we got on just fine. I suppose that means that the dick thing still applies since that’s a primal urge. One point for the men.
3. Their boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on them. Look, I’m lesbian-inclusive. Oops, I’ve noticed that I’m being rather offensive in this blog post today. My apologies. I understand completely the right to be bitchy about this, but then we go and think we’re the good guys, which is sometimes true. But the way we say it, we make it sound like women NEVER cheat on their boyfriends, when actually, as far as I’ve seen in the real world, this is a more common event. Women are dirty cheaters, too, so that’s one more point for the mens’ team.
The cover of all of this is that girls should stop being bitches and act more like men without dicks. It’ll be a perfect world.