What I don’t understand at all about human nature is that, though for a while we were really actually decent (other than all the war stuff), at least we weren’t as childish as people are becoming. It’s completely wrong to be walking down the street and seeing 30 year-olds who still live with their parents throwing a hissy-fit because they didn’t get that new brand of cereal. It disgusts me, and furthermore, it worries me.
I mean, if 30 is the new 6, then 60 is the new 12, and you’re not going to be an adult until you’re dead.
So, that’s what I have to say about that. I mean, I know I promote the whole ‘connect with your inner child’ thing, but I didn’t mean to take it that far, and I expect you to take an example from what I am saying and just knock it off already.
I’ve found out that it’s really very easy to post a blog every day. Well, not every day, but you know what I mean. The biggest part for me is not getting distracted, and god knows, that does happen to be the hardest part. But in the last <2 minutes, I’ve written all of this, and not even had time to blink. Is that skill, or is that total ballerness?
I have a couple of things to say right meow. I miss Lexi. A lot. I mean, we talked every day, and now we don’t. Also, I have lost my cellular device, so now I can’t talk to her, and that depresses me. The only bright side is that there is no bright side. Also, since I said I had a couple of things to say, and that was only one, howabout my next one be…
Thanks, guys, for actually getting a little bit involved with my blog. You cannot believe (unless you’re also a struggling blogger) how absolutely happy it makes me when I open up my gmail account to see emails saying either I have a new follower, or someone liked and/or commented on one of my posts. I’m filled with pride and joy that I have written material that people can respond to.
Yesterday, I was really very very very bored, which inspired me on to my list of five, because I have all these ways to bust boredom that are just a little out of the ordinary, and I would like to help you guys on your bleakest of days.
Okay, my list of five today.
Five weird things to do so your boredom gets busted.
1. Text your friends with the most random or awkward things you can imagine. The response is funny. Or, find a cell phone directory and text numbers that ‘you’re pregnant and it’s theirs’ or ‘you should call your mom’ or ‘meet me at that one park where the wild daffodils dance’.
2. Make a big show of going on a quest for a spirit guide. I’ve done this, and it’s actually kind of fun. So, everyone around you should know how determined you are, and then you just stalk off into the woods. An alternative to this is to dress up as a real-looking bear and just do bear things.
3. Google search things that seem to be crosses between porn and killing people. Some suggestions for you are as follows.
‘How to skin a human in a sexy way.’
‘How to stab her a million times with your hard, sharp knife.’
‘How to catch and punish a live porcupine with a dildo.’
‘Babies on oxycontin with vibrators.’
I don’t actually know what will come up (actually, based on my morbid curiosity, I now do, and it’s actually not so bad), but just being creative in this way can help you not only bust your boredom, but also ease that inner sexual and murderous tension that you’ve been keeping in your bones for so long.
4. Go sit in a hole and stay there. I don’t know why this works, but somehow, it does help for a little bit. Your eyes will be drawn to every little insect, every disgusting parasite, so that you’re not bored, just incredibly creepy crawly and grossed out. Hey, it’s better than laying on the couch not knowing what to do with yourself. Oh, it’s not? I’m just weird, then.
5. Post a blog. Every time I’m really bored, I log onto the nearest precious Internet device and post a blog (though I do confine myself to once-a-day blog posts). It’s good way for me to rant and blow off tension, and then also a good way to express my creativity.
Okay, then, get boredom busting!