Ohhh, what a beautiful mooorrrrnninnnggg! (Ironically published at night)


OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY! I’VE GOT THIS MAGICAL FEEEEELLLIIINNNGGGG! I’m gonna dieeee today.

NOT the real lyrics…but only slightly deviated. Children, I feel tired. I feel satisfied, and ridiculously accomplished, but very, VERY tired.

I once again woke up mega-early (like 6) and got in the shower. Then, AGAIN I got a terrible nosebleed. Just awful. My nose literally didn’t stop bleeding for the entirety of my shower, which happened to last almost 45 minutes today, due to the fact that I have been neglecting shaving my legs. Sooo, now I feel all gross and light-headed, and also confused and dizzy. Why is my nose bleeding in copious amounts? What did I do to deserve this bloody wrath?

Moving on, today was a decent day. Other than my nosebleed, the fact that the Iphone I got in the mail is a pile, and I’m slowly (or really quickly, actually) losing my voice…

I am now processing Iphone firmware to re-unlock the shit job that was done. Oh, and I don’t get ANY apps. Call it a send-back, because I got screwed.  SO, here I am complaining instead of making beautiful comedy (unless, of course, you find my pain, disappointment, wrath, bad luck, and anger funny…which a lot of people do).

Our comedy for the day…is…a list of five weird things I do when I’m really angry or sad…

1. I scrunch up my face and then ram it into my couch. The scrunching is so that I’ll get wrinkles sooner, and the couch is just an excuse not to hit my face on something much harder and more painful…like a wall of broken diamonds.

2. I hide under my bed with my Gameboy and go back to the good old days when my only worry was beating Super Mario. Oh come, on, you’re not feeling that Mario vibe? Fine, then let’s Pokemon Silver the shit out of the old days.

3. I scream lyrics to the sky. Actually, this is less uncommon. This is like, something tons of people do. But the difference is…I find it most relieving when I’m in my skivvies running through a thunderstorm. Didn’t see that coming, didja?

4. I sit in my big old maple tree and talk to it…yes, like it’s a real person. I even pretend it offers me wisdom. One time, I tried sleeping in it. I, of course, fell out, but in my dreams, the great maple told me it was okay. Hey, I’m not wacky, that was when I was like, 10…but yes, I still talk to my tree.

5. I marathon one band’s music for hours. Literally, hours. I don’t give up on it. I will go until my ears bleed, and I will go even if their music sucks balls (i.e. Muse). If it’s who I’ve picked, it’s who I’m going with. Though, my general choices are Flogging Molly or Blink 182.

Update: I’m sending this POS back to it’s owner and getting an Ipod touch. Yes, that’s right, I did just give up. What of it?

Love ya!

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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