I’m a promoter of awesome, a doer of good, a preventer of HIV/AIDS. Okay, let’s have a little chat about safe sex, because I feel as if it’s only right to inform you that the world isn’t all about boobs and butts and dicks and air planes, there’s something more. Condoms.
Don’t be silly, wrap your willy.
Cover your joker before you poke her!
Sex is fun when you’re using ONE!
YES, I AM PROMOTING! Let’s talk about a new (kinda?) like of ONE Condoms, titled Tantric Pleasures! I’m doing this because guess what?
I want to have a condom mural on my bedroom door (and a hundred chances for safe sex), and by completing orders, I can have free condoms. TRUE STORY!
Okay, so my plea is for you guys to get more involved! Get your community aware of One Condoms! Get your local stores to stock Tantric Pleasures! Get the word our there, son! It’s gonna be soooo great!
If you wish to learn more about ONE Condoms, visit this webpage!
Join now, and become ONE!
Haha, okay, moving on. I think this theme happens to have to be about safe sex, but let’s get one or two little pieces of news in here, to satisfy your urges for the real and not-so-great!
A DC Man’s joking license plates have gotten him SERIOUS fines. His plates, laughingly titled ‘NO TAGS’ bring in hundreds of tickets that total over 20,000 dollars. He states that every few months, he has to go get all of these tickets cleared. Why is this going on? When someone gets a ticket for not having proper tags on their vehicle, their charges are put in the computer as ‘no tags’, which eventually gets re-routed back to the guy who so cunningly labelled his car with the same logo. I don’t really feel much need to make this funnier than this already is, so I have a really important question.
Does that mean the people get away without a ticket? Is he like, their cover man? I think everyone is starting to like this guy.
Watch your wheat products! Many wheat products that are sold at stores contain the ingredient L-cysteine, a non-essential Amino Acid. Why are we worried? Well, it may or may not be the fact that L-Cysteine is made out of dissolved duck feathers and human hair (generally from China). So, you want to avoid that? Well, this will also make you healthier! Try eating unprocessed grains. I know, gross, right? Not really, not as gross as committing yourself to Cannibalism.
Okay list of five!
Five things to say to your significant other to delay having sex.
1. Girl: I’m on my period. Guy: Doesn’t matter, let’s have sex.
2. Girl: I got raped, so I’m a little touchy. Guy: Doesn’t matter, let’s have sex.
3. Girl: I don’t wanna get pregnant. Guy: If you get pregnant, I’m SO not helping you out, but…let’s still have sex.
4. Girl: Can I just blow you instead? Guy: Orrr…we could have sex.
5. Girl: I’m a lesbian. Guy: So get your girlfriend and let’s have SEX!