Total. Fuckin’. Stunna.


Yesss, I am, thanks for that. Today will be short since it’s actually a Saturday, and I’m just doing all of you guys a favor by posting. There also might be a crappy video posted on my channel today if I feel up to the challenge of giving a damn.

Snippet about life before we get to the dirty tidbits?

Forensics meet today. I was amazing, as always. Haha, actually, I kinda sucked, but somehow, I got a perfect 25 on one of my rounds, so I’m pretty damn happy for that (this is my first EVER perfect 25, and this is my third year). I now have a headache and am home alone. This is fun…not. I also have a ton of shit to do. Like…butt-loads.

Things I have to do before my parents get home.

  • Post this blog.
  • Fix my Forensics piece.
  • Make cookie dough (and subsequently eat cookie dough)
  • Have a party (a party of one, with loud music, no pants, and happiness)
  • Be fucking stupid about my headache and do everything listed above.

Good? I think that’s good. I think I’ve got a whole shit-balls list of things to do, and not much time to do them.

I’m also pretty sure I’m in love. I don’t want to talk about it, or think about it, or even feel it. But goddamn…

He’s great.

Annndddd, not exactly on the market for me.

Okay, moving on from my pathetic life story, let’s get to the list of five.

FIVE ALMOST SEXUAL THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1. Fap on the moon. No lie. How great would that be? Like, honestly, don’t deny it, that’s would be fucking great. I have a few questions about that, though. Like, would it be easier or harder to get off with less gravity? Has anyone ever fapped on the moon before?  Is that legal?

2. Travel the world in a penis-shaped air balloon. Possibly fap in the penis-shaped air-balloon, but that is entirely optional, because if you’re up really high, won’t you run out of breath quicker? Wouldn’t that be a shame to get too worn out to fap?

3. Do Parkour. Naked. Why? Well in the equation of naked equals hot, Parkour equals ‘fuck me now’ hot, that would be like a ‘please, dear god, make it stop and fuck me now’ kind of hot.

4. Go back in time in a world where the Breakfast Club was a reality, meet everyone, and then steal Bender from that stupid little bitch. Remember that closet thing he got locked in?

I’m so there.

5.  Stalk Jared Leto. Need I go further with this one? No? Well, too fucking bad, my furry friends, because I’m gonna.

This is the part where I tell you…

Jaredletoisaboutthehottestguyontheentirefaceoftheearthandilovelovelovelovelovehim.

Okay, done.

Advertisements

About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

One response »

  1. YES!!! I knew you were gonna kill! That is AMAZING congratulations! Your SO amazing 😀 ❤

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: