Let’s go fly a kite! (And by that I mean, Mary Poppins was obviously a stoner)

Come on, magical worlds that you can travel to through sidewalk pictures? Believing that you can be transported through the sky by an umbrella? I don’t even know how to explain the bag that can hold a million things, but the point is…Mary Poppins wasn’t exactly the good nurse that so many thought she was.

If those examples aren’t good enough, do you think it was really joy that caused that one guy and the kids to laugh themselves to the ceiling? No, sir, that was probably the Methamphetamine. And you may ask…when did they ever take meth? What else was the ‘Spoonful of Sugar’?

Let’s look at some more lyrics here.

“Oh ‘appiness is bloomin’
All around ‘er
The daffoldils are smilin’
At the dove
When Mary ‘olds your ‘and
You feel so grand
Your ‘eart starts beatin’
Like a big brass band
Oh, it’s a jolly holiday with Mary
No wonder that it’s Mary that we love!”

I’m beginning to wonder if Mary Poppins actually exists, or if that’s the name of the drug they so happened to be taking. I mean, you feel so grand and your heart starts beating…We all just love Mary SOOO much.

Oh, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! We’re all sooo tripping right now!

Okay, let’s get to the list of 5 (actually only 3 today) and GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS CRAZY DRUG TOWN.

3 Drugs that don’t actually harm you.

1. Cannibus. The good green. Marijuana. The third most consumed drug after Tobacco and Alcohol. Non-addictive.

The good effects: pain reliever, fever reducer, can make people eat, muscle relaxer, mind relaxer.

The bad effects: Short-term paranoia, more difficulty concentrating (slight lack of focus), some bronchial troubles if ingested on a regular (daily) basis.

Soo, uhmm, tell me…weren’t you going to forget some shit anyway when you got older? I’m not saying Yeahh, let’s go smoke it up, I’m just saying…well, why not?

2. LSD. Acid. Derived from a mushroom called Ergot. Most powerful hallucinogenic known to mankind. Non-addictive.

The good: Relaxation of the mind, can open you up to parts of your mind that you didn’t know about, can expand the brain cortex.

The bad: Now most commonly mixed with rat poison in order to make the drug kick in faster, can cause bad trips, flashbacks to trips you had for up to six months after, and if consumed on a daily basis, minor schizophrenia can ensue.

Who the fuck consumes acid every day anyway? I kind of like the idea of KNOWING MY OWN MIND. Just sayin’

3. Shrooms. Mushies. Liberty Caps.The magical mushrooms. A naturally occuring fungi. Non-addictive.

The good: Trip lasts 4-6 hours, and is generally described as a feeling of ‘colorful euphoria. Colors more vibrant, music richer. Simply put, it alters and expands consciousness by loosening or — at higher doses- completely erasing the normal filters and screens between your conscious mind and the outside world. With these filters down, more information rushes in and you become aware of things normally filtered out by your mind. You sense more, think more, feel more — visual, auditory, sensory, emotional — the intricate details on surfaces, the richness of sound, the brightness of colors, and the complexity of your own mental processes.

The bad: Can get stomach cramps, vomit, or have diarrhea. Also, the possibility that you were stupid enough to take the shrooms while in a bad mood could put you in a bad trip mode.

Sooo, wait, you’re telling me that if I eat this naturally-grown fungus, I can experience a more beautiful, more colorful world, and only experience some minor illness that was probably based of the fact that I just ingested a fungi? Count me in, muchacho.

There are, of course, a few other drugs, but the bell is about to ring, so I’m out of here!

Love ya!


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

2 responses »

  1. I enjoyed reading this 🙂

  2. FYI LSD is not the strongest hallucinogen ever known. That would be DMT/Ayahuasca… a mind fucking drug.


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