Shorties for life! (Or just for today)


This is short. I have to go practice for my WSMA Audition, so I don’t have time to dally in study hall this morning. My list for you just so happens to be…

Five reasons why girls are total bitches.

1. Of course, you’re gonna say number one is going to have something to do with the fact that girls have to bleed OUT OF THEIR VAGINAS for 2-9 days one time a month. YOU’RE TOTALLY RIGHT! If you’re a guy and you’re looking at this screen thinking you wouldn’t be in a bad mood if your dick was spurting blood, you need to check yourself before I wreck you.

2. Girls have breasts. Before I begin, yes, I do realize that some men have breasts too, but let me explain the difference. Man boobs are made out of too much muscle or too much fat. Woman boobs are made out of a material that just so happens to HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER every time we run, jump, climb, etc. To make matters worse, on the days we bleed out of our vaginas, our boobs are so tender they can feel it when you drop a pin on the ground 15 feet away.

3.  Girls have been discriminated against for years. If that wouldn’t put you in a bad mood, I don’t know what would.  I mean, really, most historical documents don’t even say woman in them. It’s as if the women who cook, clean, bleed out their vaginas, have boobs, and BIRTH THE NEXT GENERATION never existed.

4. Girls don’t look awesome with huge muscles. How is this fair? What if I want to be the next heavyweight boxing champion? Well, that’s not gonna happen, you know why? Because I would just so happen to scare any potential mates away. Remember the girl rule? Never date someone with smaller thighs than you. Well, if my thighs just so happen to look like really muscular tanned tree trunks, I’m not gonna be in the market for anything less than a man of ‘Incredible Hulk’ proportions.

5. Women can’t play professional football. Do I really need to elaborate on this, or are you seething with rage already?

That’s it for today!

Love ya!

Advertisements

About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: