I’ve got Skittles in my mouth, wanna get a rainblow?


I’ve gotten a little bit of feedback recently from a few of my readers, and I would like to address this before it’s too late.

A few people have sent me messages saying…

“Don’t you think your blog is a little inappropriate?”

and

“You’re 17 years old, and you’re blogging very sexually. Do you think this is good for your future?”

and

“You’re hott, can I tap that?”

Okay, okay, so that last one I sent to myself, and to respond to all of these questions…

Yes, I do think my blog is a little [bit of a lot of] inappropriate, but come on, I’m a TEENAGER! The thoughts going through my head are as follows.

sex sex sex music sex music school sex sex sex sex fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap sex sex music homework hangout party movies sex sex sex sex sex.

True story. Speaking of sex, we just faked my friend’s death with this Spanking Shakespeare thing, and the results were…ridiculous.

World-renowned Locomotive Engineer Kade Louis Antczak died today in a hospital in Prairie Farm. Doctors are still unsure of what exactly caused the death, but believe it was due to complications after Kade Louis Antczak came too fast and suffered pains in his dick. He was 69 years old.

 Kade Louis Antczak was a shitty person, who enjoyed everything about life. He was known for his passion for Tacos, which he often ate 21 times a day. He loved to share Tacos with everyone, and would even offer Tacos to strangers. Kade Louis Antczak also enjoyed traveling, especially to historical landmarks, and loved meeting people around the world. On his trip to Austin, Texas he even met the president (and yes, he offered him Tacos). After meeting him, Kade Louis Antczak said the President was glorified.

 Kade Louis Antczak is survived by his partner Telea, their 14 children, and their pet Pushmi-pullyou named Kawit.

 

Well, that was awkward. Now you know THAT story. If you would like to generate your own death, the link is…

http://www.randomhouse.com/teens/spankingshakespeare

In response to the other two questions…

The world is a very sexual place, and the thing is, the tolerance for sexual behavior…well, let’s just say everyone is getting stupider, mmmkay?

To the third question: Yes, me, I’d do me anytime. *Winkyface*

Let’s move on to pressing business. Music.

This song. THIS SONG!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8y0w91ehIo

I, admittedly, was watching an episode of Pretty Little Liars when I heard this, but it really doesn’t matter where you heard the song as long as you found it and fell in love with it.

I would just like to say that I am a huge music freak and I pretty much orgasm when I find good music, sooo…awkward.

My list of five today is titled…

“Situations that everyone thinks are awkward, but really aren’t that awkward.”

1. When someone makes a dick joke and it was totally gross. Everyone gets real quiet and goes

‘That was just too far’

But was it, was it really? Well, NO. Lay off your pretentious behavior and just laugh, because you know you wanna.

2. Running into your ex with another person in public. You may be going…

‘Ohh damn, I had really hoped not to see him/her/it and his/hers/it’s FAVORITE restaurant, and now it’s awkward.’

I would just go right up to that Sexy SOB and congratulate him/her/it. It’s all good. We’re just people, ya know? Trying to live our lives.

3. When someone you don’t like starts talking to you on facebook and you are forced to make awkward conversation.

I have three words for you right now.

Block that bitch.

4. When you’re about to kiss someone and you realize they either have bad breath or a terrible kissing habit (such as drooling). You’re freaking out going:

‘I don’t know what to do! I really like him/her/it, but this breath is bad. Should I offer them a breath mint?’

Just full out pull away, drag them to the bathroom, and run scalding water over their face. It’s not awkward because it’s for their own good.

5. You accidentally had sex with your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend/itfriend. You’re freaking out, like…

‘Oh my god, they’re gonna kill me, and every time I see their bf/gf/if, it’s gonna be really awkward.’

Nooooo, just stay chill and start laying out the groundwork for a threeway. Done.

Okay, that’s it for today, love ya!

About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: