Libraries are the shit! Fuck you, I’m a Hipster, not a geek.(A.K.A What the HELL is a Hipster?!)


Okay, so I would not have had the chance to blog today if it hadn’t been for the fact that my mom desperately needed to go grocery shopping and so she dropped me off at the local library and left me to my own devices, which just so happen to include access to a computer and the internet because my library is awesome and they have about 13 computers for public use. Good times. Yeah, I know, I’m getting too excited about all of this, but the thing is, ever since I learned how to read, I’ve had an irrational love of libraries. Mostly the books, but the libraries are the shit, too. An intense love of books is known as ‘Bibliophilia’, which happens to be a word I learned from reading a book. You should try it some time.

Okay, so since this computer doesn’t have the best keyboard, I’m not gonna ramble on and on and on and on today, but I am going to post a blog, and for that you should be pleased. This will be my 70th post total, so I’ll be 30 away from the big one, which is very exciting to me, and if you think about it, really just a HUGE accomplishment for me. It’ll be like the mini-version of my one year anniversary, but that’ll be HUGE!

So, last night I went on an adventure that involved Ice cream, friends, The Legend of Zelda, and getting locked into a closet with a laptop and Omegle. It was so much fun, but again, we are not here to talk about my life, we’re here to discuss everything else. We’re gonna really start this blogging day by saying that a ton of people on Omegle told me I was a hipster because I wear strange hats and listen to Blink 182. That’s not the full story, but I was confused, so I looked up the true definition of the word ‘Hipster’.

I have found a few opposing opinions about ‘What a Hipster Really is’, and trust me when I say…it’s really harsh. SO, I’m gonna give you a few links that you may just enjoy. I mean, one of em is Cracked, so everyone will like that.

Soo, We’ve got Cracked.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-4573-hipster/

We’ve got ‘Look at this Fucking Hipster

http://www.latfh.com/

We’ve got the Hipster Handbook

http://www.hipsterhandbook.com/

(That’s so DECK!)

We’ve got Hipster Dot Com. (I don’t legitly think that this is really about Hipsters)

http://www.hipster.com/#/map

(This is kinda lame, though, since you need a smartphone to do anything with it, I do believe. Fuck that)

WE have have Tumblr titled ‘Stuff Hipsters Hate’. Hey, I find it amusing.

http://stuffhipstershate.tumblr.com/

Let’s Urban Dictionary this Definition up!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hipster

Always, always, check Wikipedia!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hipster_%28contemporary_subculture%29

Annddd finally, we have Hipster Ipsum, because what would life be without being able to randomly insert very stereotypical Hipster Phrases into a blog?

http://hipsteripsum.me/?paras=4&type=hipster-centric

Mixtape synth wolf, thundercats iphone sartorial four loko you probably haven’t heard of them scenester fixie etsy. Sartorial keffiyeh cosby sweater freegan vice. Organic trust fund wolf, thundercats keytar quinoa tofu. Skateboard keffiyeh banksy before they sold out mustache four loko gluten-free fap. Butcher american apparel wayfarers, VHS Austin cardigan thundercats craft beer organic cliche sartorial etsy. Blog butcher mcsweeney’s mixtape, next level +1 quinoa irony. Etsy raw denim +1 jean shorts.

So, after all this research, what have I discovered? IT’S TIME FOR THE LIST!!! (Possibly longer that 5 today)

1. It seems as if everyone except for hipsters…hate hipsters.

2. I’m poor. This means I can’t be Hipster? Surprisingly snooty middle-class for people who defy cultural norms.

3. The best idea is to live by an Urban Outfitters. I’ll stick with Goodwill. No, I didn’t get this for a dollar, it was five, and it looks damn good on me.

4. Apparently, Hipsterism is not allowed unless you have less that 5 percent body fat. Poor fat people. Always get the bad end of the deal. I’m poor and not a twig, what can I say?

5. I do like Indie Music. I also like Blink 182, Green Day, and a lot of Mainstream. It’s okay, homophobes, I’m not gay, I just really really love the Backstreet Boys.

6. Everything Hipster is Deck. Until Deck goes out of style to a point that it’s not cool to be uncool anymore.

7. I am not, and will never be a Hipster. This further backs up Telea’s point that Telea will always be just Telea and nothing else. I suppose that’s what the common person might call a win, but I’ll just leave it at:

“Me and my fantastic personality are totally Deck.”

Love ya!

 

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

3 responses »

  1. I go to the library. Surprisingly, a lot of normal people do. I’m also almost certain there’s a huge drug ring going on there. I’d explain further but that would probably make me a part of the problem.

    Reply
    • I AM the huge drug ring. Futhermore, I Bing-search google in order to google search something. One time the first result wasn’t google, which makes me think there must be a conspiracy, which leads me to believe that I’m on drugs, which brings us right back to the illustrious drug ring.

      Reply
  2. Soo good 🙂 You are amazing!

    Reply

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