Okay, so this is just a really bad day today, and if I was a violent person, I would punch someone really hard in a place where it would really hurt. The thing is, though, that it’s one of those days where you’re not mad at just one specific person, you’re mad at the WHOLE WIDE WORLD AND IT’S REALLY ANGRY-MAKING!
Okay, soooo moving on, we’re having Kyle pick our topic because we are friendies, and that’s what friendies do…they pick topics for me.
They just BUG ME. So, there’s all these people that just hang around you all the time and they won’t leave you alone and then, of all things, they get totally jealous when you hang out with ANYONE ELSE, because somehow, you became theirs. Now, this happens a lot in relationships; the boy or girl gets healous and it is just NOT a good time, but here’s the thing, this is NOT about a relationship right now.
Yes, I am venting, and YES, Kyle did realize that this was the perfect topic because he saw me punching the keys angrily with a determined superhero ‘I’m gonna kick your shit’ expression on my face, and yes, he is a little scared. This is what happens, guys. The lesson happens to be: Don’t be clingy or I will get so annoyed that I send you a text message telling you why I’m annoyed with you along with a blunt ‘Leave me the FUCK alone’ message.
Now, I think it’s time for me to explain something to you on this topic. Relationships scare me. I’ve have a longest relationship record of one month. I act strangely around people that are crushing on me because they’re either just not good people, or I am freaking scared that it will get too intense and I will flip the fuck out.
This is a legitimate story, and I would like to say that it’s even scary to keep a blog, but that is for different reasons. The reason I don’t like commitment is because I don’t need much, but other people are super clingy. If I’m gonna have a relationship, it should be a little looser, you know?
The thing about my blog is that I’m afraid of letting my readers down. So, it’s like the opposite. I have more of a connection to my blog than I do to people, even though people read this blog.
By the way, speaking of the blog I’m currently typing on…I’m being really depressing today, so we’re gonna conclude this topic and make a list.
If a clingy person gets all up in your grill, give them a swift falcon punch, shout out a string of swear words, kick em in the privates, and go the fuck home.
THE FIVE THINGS LIST!
Five things that make me HOT!
1. Your mother. I’m not even lying. Think of all she does for you. That’s hot. Give your mother some mother-loving this Mother’s day…or have me do it, since if you love your mother too much, it’s kinda pervy.
2. The sun. When it comes out, my skin gets all hot and bothered and I just flip the fuck out so much that it hurts later. Damn sunburns.
3. Wool Blankets. This is a really bad thing. You need to get wool the fuck off of me. I will overheat and go all Honey Badger on your ass. Just saying.
4. Spongebob Squarepants. HE CAN DRINK A GLASS OF WATER UNDERWATER! That’s hot. It’s like…a Christmas miracle.
5. Snow. Ironic. Done.