The time has come, I’ve often said, to speak of many things…
Such as Christmas (again).
I realize you guys prolly think I’ve become pretty scroogy, so I wanted to alter your perceptions just a little bit and talk about the reasons I like Christmas.
So here goes, a list of all the reasons Christmas got on the nice list this year.
Except it didn’t, not really.
1. CHRISTMAS BREAK! This happens to be the number one reason I like Christmas. Not to pull out a terrible cliche, but Honey, I’m gonna be home for Christmas. By that I mean my home, not yours. That would be creepy.
2. BODILY DECORATIONS! Around the Christmas season (and especially on the last day of school before break), you have the opportunity, nay, the RIGHT to dress how you want. I dressed with much vivor, and have clothed myself in my “Santa’s naughty little helper’ attire. However, this means I have the opportunity (Nay, the RIGHT!) to take a visit to the Principal’s office today.
3. FACIAL DECORATIONS! I have a lot of makeup and I know how to use it! Yay for a Lady Gaga gold lightning bolt on the left side of my face, and black glitter vines on the right, both extending from my eyes (Pictures right down here!)
4. PRESENTS! Hey, just because I don’t give them doesn’t mean I don’t get them! This yearI have gotten…love and cheer and joy and good times and candy absofuckinglutely nothing. Let’s just cross this off the list, mmmkay?
I AM JESUS CHRIST AND THEY ARE CELEBRATING ME. To be QUITE honest, I can’t even think of a number five. Mmmkay? Yes.
So, that is my short list of all the reasons I just LOVE Christmas! We will be posting a Christmas video, which will be awesome. I think. We shall see. I don’t know when it will be posted, but it shall be EPIC!
Okay, so this concludes my blog post for the day.
Skimpy? Yes. You know why?
I’m too busy spreading Christmas cheer, drinking eggnog, and kissing under the mistletoe.
Just kidding, I just have no tolerance for
you guys words today.