THE REASONS WHY I HATE YOU ALL! Just kidding, I love you, because Jesus forgives all sins.

Okay, let us blog today, mmmkay? I mean, I think that I happen to be a pretty damn cool cat, ya know? I mean, I work so hard on this blog and on my Youtube Channel (OHH YEAH, TEN WHOLE VIDEOS, BITCHES!), and I even tweet once in a while from my phone, so you cannot even be getting all up in this and going:

“Ohh god, that Telea doesn’t try at all, because I do, and I DARE you to do better!

Okay, so at the risk of my pride and dignity, I’m having a contest where you can win…a two-dollar bill, sent to your house! You will also get a mention in a Youtube video! THIS IS A TRUE STORY!

Here’s how…

1. Subscribe to my Youtube Channel. (

2. Send me a Gmail or Youtube message with your name and address. (

3. Send me one good (funny and original and no-budget) idea for a video to put up on Youtube. You will be credited with the idea, and if you have a recording device, you can also send a short video of yourself talking or acting or performing and we will add that into the video as well.

That’s about it! Best original video idea wins, and all contestants will be mentioned in a video!

The contest ends…

December 25th, 2011!!!!

Okay, topic topic topic.

I know that you guys have really been hating on me by not liking or commenting on my posts or subscribing to my youtube channel and stuff, and so I decided to make a hate-blog on you.


1. I don’t.

That’s puuurrrdy much it, because the thing is…Jesus forgives you for even reading this blog.

Oh, by the way, I’m Jesus.

You Christains and Catholics and Jesus-lovers out there…


As Bo Burnham once said (and I’m paraphrasing here):

“The only thing I don’t make fun of is White People. They’ve been through enough.”


But really, I AM  just kidding, mmmkayness?


From Brianna:

“so i was at my house minding my own business when my dog started barking in his kennel and so my grandmother told me to go let him out. well i walked down stairs and i opened up the door to his kennel and he charged out towards the door in the proses he stepped on my foot! and it hurt  keep in mind my dog does weigh more than i do and he has sharp nails and i was barefoot (because truthfully thats the only way to live) it felt like this! ”


Also, I found this funny Youtube video that you could use if you wanted to.

i love your blogs i hope you continue to write<3″


Can we have a round of applause for the beautiful Brianna?

Yeah, I do know her, and yeah, she’s FACKING BEAUTIFUL, OKAY!?!?

Okay, moving on, enter the contest!!!

Love ya!


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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