Here I am, sitting at my local high school, behind a table, selling bracelets.
Because I’m fucking awesome, that’s why!
Okay, so I’m hanging stag, which, in case you didn’t know, means all alone. To top it all off, I really needta pee.
It’s okay, because I’m rockingvout to Dubstep and I have sold three bracelets so far. It’s a pretty dang legit deal.
There’s a basketball double-header going down and I do not get to watch it based on the fact that I am selling bracelets.
Topic, topic, topic…
Oh yeah, today I’m blogging on the reasons why I would make about the best girlfriend ever, butvpeople do not wish to date me or my pretty face.
I am just a fantastic dancer! Except I’m not really, I can just do a cartwheel into the splits and that is all. Oh wait, I can pelvic thrust like a champ!
I know the dewey decimal system INTIMATELY! …I have no snarky followup to this. That’s a fact, I’m a library nerd.
You want me!
I have great hair. Well, it’s thick and shiny, but for real, I can do nothing with it. I take my straightener to it some days screaming:
“Die, bitch, DIE!”
I sing well. But I do it ALL the time. Legitly, between talking and singing, I NEVER shut up. Okay, so that is an overstatement.
I’m never afraid to be myself. That one is up in the air for good or bad. I mean, it’s got its perks, but it REALLY scares some people away.
I’m not a reliable blogger. Ooohhh that’s one. Blogging guys DO NOT like blogger girls who are unreliable. It kinda says something about the whole fucking relationship, doesn’t it.
Well, you got a rrrreeeealllyyyy long post and hated it, so shut up and figure out what the hell you really want from me.
I have a short story of my life to share in childrens form.
This is a fish.
Her name is Telea.
She’s gonna get flushed down the toilet.
All fishes go to heaven.
She just goes in the septic tank.
The moral is that Telea’s afterlife will be shit. Why? Because the bible says I’m a sinner. Okay kids?
P.S, I’m not really a fish.
So, in conclusion, I’m a loud, independent, curious, talented, strong
fish girl. Ohhhhh. THAT’S why boys don’t like me.
Feel the BURN!
SORRY. That is all you get for a blog today.
“Roses are red, violets are blue, take your pants off.”