My bosses are amazing


Ken and Jay, my neighbors, my bosses, my friends. They’re about the most amazing guys ever, and I absolutely love them!!! You may ask: are you writing this because they read your blog or something? No, they don’t know the web address to my blog as of yet, I’m saying this because they truly are amazing.

Today I worked four hours. Good conversation, good work, delicious lunch, good company.

Yes, I’m sorry this blog isn’t so funny, because I’m just happy. That’s all.

Did you know that my humor usually is stemmed from my rage? Yes, I use humor as a shield….so I don’t hurt people.

Our topic of the day is…

REALLY GROSS AND DISTURBING THINGS THAT DOCTORS AND SCIENTISTS DO IN ORDER TO FURTHER RESEARCH ON HUMAN REGENERATION ETC. ETC. THAT, WHEN WE LOOK AT IT, WE CAN’T DECIDE WHETHER IT’S COOL OR GROSS, BUT IN BOTH WAYS ARE MORBIDLY CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT THEY’LL THINK OF NEXT!

Whooooo, I gotta take a breath after THAT mouthful of words.

Why is this my topic, you may ask, to which I’ll reply that I found something pretty disturbing today. It’s a picture…of an arm…with a penis growing on it.

Because, for some reason, doctors think it’s a good idea to use tissues to grow new penises on arms.

I don't find this to be a good idea at all.

On the note of using tissue to grow new appendages on arms…there’s this artist who is growing his FOURTH ear on his arm.

That's kinda super gross. Not as bad as the penis-arm, but...gross all the same. He's gonna wait until it's fully formed before doing anything with it.

Ears on bodies where they shouldn’t be? Sounds like it’s time to show a picture of the Vacanti Mouse (a.k.a The EARMOUSE)

I don't know if I feel as if this is okay or not. Really, really, I don't.

Now, to get off this disgusting topic fluently, we’ll insert a picture of a singing hamster. Now, you may ask…

“How in the hell is this related to an ear on a wrinkly old mouse?”

Well, it’s something unnatural that a rodent is doing…fluent enough for you?

"I can be your hero, BABY! I can kiss away the pain! I will stand by you forever! You can take...my breath away!"

Yehp, that mouse is ballading the shit out of Enrique Iglesias.

On that note, remember to send everything to

poisontheperfect@gmail.com

IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!

Love you!

“You will buy my drugs at high prices, and then you will abuse them.”

– The Devil

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

2 responses »

  1. Okay That was disturbing but captivating at he same time??? A penis on an arm> I wonder if he gets the “good feeling” when he strokes it? Pretty embarassing to be walking around with a dick stuck to your arm but a fully erect dick? Oh Boy! Would actuallly love to see this. Is it indecent exposure you think?

    Reply
    • Yeah, I get what you’re saying! It’s like, you’re not allowed to whip out your dick on regular days, why would you be allowed to just flash one around on your arm? Also, what I found out about it is that…there was something legitly wrong with that guy’s real penis, so once it’s fully grown, they’re gonna transplant it. Who wants to be having sex and think: This dick was ALL OVER my arm?

      Reply

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