“Come on, Telea, not another story about peeing!”

Actually, yes, yes I do happen to have another story about peeing. It’s short, so you won’t have to suffer the strains of bladder stories for long. Haha, punny.

Okay, so last night, this 17 year old awesome person went trick-or-treating. Don’t judge me, candy is delicious and you’re never too old to run the town at night trespassing on private property and peeing in bushes. Story over. I just really really had to pee, okay?

Yeah, soo pree much, everyone and everything was awesome except for TRISTAN AND AUSTIN, who were total legitimate dickweeds, but that’s okay because I still had fun. Here’s the stats for the night.

Fun Level: About a 9

Amount of Candy: Tons

Injuries sustained: 1 real, 1 million bloody and fake injuries (tears, knee scrapes, bloody faces, yummm)

Coolness of people I went with: ONE MILLION

Number of times Telea ended up huddled in the fetal position on the ground crying: ONLY TWO, OKAY? Come on now, why do we even have to bring that kind of stuff up. They were clowns and they were scary, and I was scared!

Number of times Telea pretended to be a Halloween decoration to hide from things that could potentially make her cry: One…maybe three.

Number of times Telea and LeKresha ran screaming from scary men with fake knives who were trying to bust into someone’s car: One, and we screamed all the way. It was so fucking funny. We actually weren’t scared that time, but it’s funny to pretend on Halloween.

Number of times Telea was molested on Halloween night: I don’t wanna talk about it. Really, I don’t.


And really, let’s move on before this gets too intense, I mean, Michael Jackson.
Remember to send anything and everything tooo
Cool picture of the day sent in by:
They also wrote a note, so I shall share that right meow! Thank you, D.B!

Donny Darko Rabbit

“Dear Telea, I love your blog. I laugh a lot, though I would like to point out that your theme of trying too hard to be funny to make it funny that you’re trying too hard is cliche and over-rated. I mean, look at David Spade. His only good work was Joe Dirt, and that was, at best, a second-class movie. I’m not trying to insult you or anything, but I just think that you should try a little harder to be funny. Anyway, this picture is of what I dressed up as, which is the Donnie Darko rabbit. My costume looked way cooler, but I didn’t have the energy to take a picture. Sincerely, D.B”

Okay, first of all…waooww. Thanks so much for sending in this letter, but, uhm, Joe Dirt second class? You don’t know what you’re talking about AT ALL, obviously! I’m not trying to be David Spade, though, if I was like him but I looked like me, I’d get all the ladies. Well, not really, but Spado is my homeboy, so don’t be hating. Also, you just told me to try harder at trying to hard to be funny to make it funny. How does that work? I’m not even trying, I just randomly type letters. All the same, I appreciate the letter and your fake costume picture is pretty legit. Write again!

Question of the day is:

What did you do for Halloween?

There will be prizes given to anyone named Travis who sends in a picture of himself in a Spartan Warrior costume. Just sayin’ *Hemhem*.

“Don’t get high off your own supply.”

-Kresha Zombabe Sears


About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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