I’M BLUE, DABADEE!


No, really, I am. I’m sitting in school wearing punk-ass clothes, rainblow tights, an awesome up-do, and just generally being absolutely legit today. My skin is blue, my heart is rainbow, along with my beaaaauuuutttttiifluffel hair.

REMEMBER TO SEND EVERYTHING IMPORTANT TO

poisontheperfect@gmail.com

Yeahhh, budddy. Okay, costume contest, maybe? Send a picture of your absolutely legit costume to me! YUSSSS! It will be posted in the blog and be generally cool because your costume will be the mostest legit on this webpage…other than mine, which…you can’t beat.

So, this morning, I wake up late, miss the bus, and get a ride to school with me mum. As we’re headed down the driveway, we notice something sitting there. It’s a large wicker basket with four items and a note in it.

I will now list the items along with what the note said.

A small container labeled Gasoline

A box of strike-on-anything matches

A sealed bag of strawberry twizzlers.

A bottle of Sierra Nevada beer.

The note said…

“Dear Telea, I hope you blaze it up this Halloween. XOXO”

…..

What the holy jizzballs of fuck?

Pardon my language, buttt…jkdfhlurghsdhg;aoeiwgh;waiehlfwiefh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m so confused!

So, that’s my cool story for cool story Monday, but I have another one, too.

NIGHTSTORM WAS SO COOL AND THERE WERE SO MANY HOT GUYS AND THE COSTUMES WERE COOL AND THE GIRLS WERE REALLY SLUTTY AND LINDSEY WENT AS A SLUTTY COWGIRL JUST LIKE I WARNED ABOUT IN MY BLOG AND I WAS GLOWING BLUE AND NICHOLAS’S HAIR WAS GLOWING AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I DANCED WITH JUST ABOUT THE CUTEST GUY EVER AND ALL THE EXCHANGE STUDENTS HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME AND NICHOLAS IS STANDING OVER ME GLARING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I’M TYPING THIS INSTEAD OF TELLING HIM WHAT WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IN MATH!

IT WAS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST NIGHT EVER AND CHEYENNE AND I DANCED AND WE LOOKED SO HOT AND THAT GUY WAS SO YUMMY AND NO, I’M NOT KIDDING, NICHOLAS, WE TOTALLY DID LOOK HOT!!!!!!!! STOP READING OVER MY SHOULDER BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!

“If you punch me in the face I’ll probably have to do something worse to you.”

Ewww, was that an offer?

Ick.

‘TELEA, YO ALL NASTY, GIRL!”

I swear, he’s the whitest black guy I know.

Okay, okay, I’m done now.

But it was amazing, and I think that’s something that Nicholas can agree with.

AHHH, I JUST CANNOT GET OVER THIS!

OH OH OH, AND ZACHARY WAS THERE AND HE WENT AS HARRY POTTER AND IT WAS SO COOL, BUT SOME JACKASS SNAPPED HIS WAND AND THAT IS SO NOT LEGIT AND IF I EVER CATCH WHOEVER DID THIS, I WILL BUST THEIR SKIN-FLUTES UP SO HARD AND NOT IN THE GOOD ‘BUST-A-NUT’ WAY, JUST IN THE OMG I’M BLEEDING AND MY BALLS ARE GONE!!!!!!!!!! KINDA WAY.

Yeahh, okay, so, finishing that up, I think that’s a pretty legit story, and if you didn’t laugh/cry/feel super liberated to be as cool as me…there’s something wrong with you.

The embarrassing part of the story was that I entered the costume contest and I had to go up on stage and NOT ONE PERSON cheered for me, they just stared and maybe pointed and laughed just a little because I looked super dumb and everyone wanted to punch me.

Why do so many people want to punch me?

Okay, finishing up, we’re going to do another quote on Halloween, along with a legit picture.

Oh my, I love this so much.

“If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.”
 
– Doug Coupland 
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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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