Apparently, you all suck.


Okay, come on now. I feel shunned now. What happened? I was all being successful and awesome, but then, I drop from 110 views per day to only 12. Also, only two subscribers (I love you both with all of my pretty little heart).

That contest I had actually had exactly 0 hits. What am I doing wrong? Moving on. We didn’t do a blog on Monday because I was too busy being depressed with you guys. I’m actually really sad about this, no lie.

I might give up, but not yet, we just started here. Okayyy, so it’s Tuesday, cool picture day! Remember to send anything and everything to poisontheperfect@gmail.com. Every hit helps, guys. Share this blog with your friends, because I’m awesome.

HALLOWEEN IS COMING UP! Less than a week and I will be parading around with my skin completely blue and my face in a smile because being the Blue Girl for Halloween is about the best thing you could ever think of doing with your life. Here, I’ll show you a picture of what I should generally look like. The hair won’t be the same, since mine is quite obviously too long, but the thing is, if you read the book, as long as my hair looks colorful and amazing, I should be good.

This is my favorite book in the entire whole wide world, and I've admittedly read about a million books.

 
 
I also won’t be quite this sexy, since I don’t happen to have those hardcore abs that she does. She’s a drawing, give me a break. But I love the character. She’s daring and fun. No, this is not the cool picture of the day. We are going to do something about Halloween for the cool picture, soooo, here we go!!!!
 

Annnd, my favorite halloween movie of all time!

If you’ve never seen this movie, we’re no longer friends.

TOPIC ISSSS!!!

What are you dressing up as for Halloween?

I know a lot of people that are going all cliche and saying:

“Ohh, I’m gonna be a huge whore and either dress as a slut or a cowgirl or a sexy space alien.”

To that I say: Is there such a thing as a truly sexy space alien? I see the dripping goo and the weird food choices, and I just can’t stomach that kind of thing. I’m not going for sexy, I’m just going for something amazing. I still need a couple of things for my costume, such as a way to dye myself blue so that I’m not blue forever and ever (Hemhem colloidal silver).

Okay, wrapping it up, since the bell is just about ring, I love you all. Love me back and send me mails. Also, tell me what you’re gonna be for halloween. Be sexy, but not ridiculous.

Coming back and finishing now, since I need to be funny, I think. Can I be funny? Mayyybbeee.

If you mix the two things I’ve been talking  about, you get a topic about dressing up like a sexy witch who can actually do magic and causes everyone to read and love her blog. Yes, do that. Without the witchy powers, good sir or ma’am.

I had the most amazing phone call last night. The ever lovely Miss Cheyenne is absolutely amazing. I saw a facebook status of hers, and noticed quite legitly that she was in a terrible mood. So, I called her just to cheer her up a little and it turned into a two hour phone call. We talked about like, everything. This isn’t funny, but this is the thing that brightened my night last night.

What’s funny? What’s funny, what’s funny, what’s funny? What’s funny, what’s funny, what’s funny, fa-fa-funny?

Obviously not that. Okay, so do I just resort to being random since I have no inspiration to be amusing at all?

Let’s talk smack about people, and let’s make that smack ridiculous not true.

Ben Jerrie is a homosexual Asian who eats puppies and butterflies. No really, true story. The butterflies and puppies part. I’ve seen it happen. It’s like he takes all the joy in the entire world and swallows it in one bite, because he has a large Swedish mouth.

Kelsey Espeseth likes to pet her fridge. We don’t know why, but the fridge purrs when it happens. We wonder if she’s g0t a cat trapped in there. She claims the that souls of her old cats drifted down and ate all of the leftovers.

Kyle Quarders (Kylie Marie Agatha Quarders) desperately wants a sex change. He’s always wanted to be a woman, and he might just get that if Badger care covers it. After all, how can you resist that pretty little face?

Isn’t this fun? Okay, I’m done now.

Bond, James Bond.

“This is Halloween, This is Halloween, Pumpkins scream in the dead of night!.”

-Nightmare Before Christmas

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

One response »

  1. Undead Lolita. Like, zombie little girl. 😛 Torn up tights, skirt, safety pin sof all my clothes, etc. 😛

    Reply

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