I’m pregnant and I know it (A.K.A: The pregnancy scare)

No questions or comments today? Come on, people, this blog is about community,and friendship, and butts.

Hokay then. Well, we can now say, with much enthusiasm, that we happen to have TWO WHOLE FOLLOWERS!


Okay, remember to send your questions, stories, pictures, jokes, videos etc. to poisontheperfect@gmail.com

We’ve officially decided that we are going to have contests. It’ll be like, comment your answer, send me a pic of this, etc., and for now, the prize will be…



Today’s contest (entries due by Monday at 3:18 pm) is…

Send a message to poisontheperfect@gmail.com with the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you (Yes, this is a Halloween theme, which you’ll see a lot of, since Halloween is second only to my birthday on my list of favorite Holidays). I will read all entries and decide a winner and a first runner-up.

Winner gets to pick the topic of my next blog (That will be the Tuesday blog post)

Runner-up gets to pick…the title of my blog post. (Make it amusing, this is for Tuesday)

So that we’re sure we have all of our chinchillas in a running wheel, send a topic and a title with your entry, that way, the winner already has all I need sent to me.

New music:

This song was recommended by…ANA IFKEWITSCH!!!



Guys…I’m pregnant.

No, really though, I’m not.

This is not me:

The thing is, if I was that cute, everyone would want my child.

Moving right along now. Here’s the story. I was sick on Monday, and I’ve been eating like a crazy person. Like legitly, I eat…ALL. THE. TIME. 

No, this is legitly a post-second-breakfast snack.

Would I lie to you?

Let’s move on before you’re offended, but I’m being legit right now. I eat so much recently, and that’s not cute if you’re not a stick.

I’m not a stick.

Okay, so the eating, the sickness, the weight gain, it’s obvious what happened, right?

I’m gonna have a kid, except, no, no, no no no, no I’m not.

This will not be me:

Admittedly, though, that's a cute-ass picture. For real. Except for the shirtless dude, which is...strange.

 So, everyone is like, hmmm. Then, I decide to play along, which makes it worse. 

Also, I kind of found out a few of the people that are my true friends and would stick by me (Dawww, Anthony), and the ones who wouldn’t (*HEMHEM*, Kade!)

 But now I feel super-bad about the entire scandal, so I’m coming out. 

By that I mean, out of the false-pregnany closet.

 I swear I’m straight.

 Though I have experimented a little bit.



Moving along… Ohh, you don’t come back from that, do you? Everyone is just sitting around either going:

 “I totally knew it!”


 “Maybe Telea will start hitting on me.” 


In conclusion, rumors spread fast, they can hurt people, or they can reveal who’s there for you.

No, seriously, DON'T SPREAD THEM FACKING RUMORS, KIDS. Shit. WILL. Hit. The. Fan.

But I’m all good with everything, rumors are all stuff and nonsense anyway.
Hey, what’s your opinion on rumors? How have they affected you? Comment below? xD
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
– Oscar Wilde

About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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