I have wisdom growing in my mouth, and it hurts like a Bitch!


I wake up this morning to the alarm clock on my phone going off. Damn school. I start to sit up, and suddenly, I notice there are tears on my cheeks and there’s a pounding pounding POUNDING pain in my mouth and head.

SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS.

For those of you who are either incredibly stupid or incredibly ignorant…

This doesn't look painful. It is. Fuck. It is so bad. It feels like someone is stabbing my gums from the inside.

Those are not my teeth, that is a google image. My teeth look way better, and that would not be my good side.

As you can see, the wisdom teeth come in at an angle towards the other teeth and can sometimes push the other teeth around like they’re some kind of big dumb bully saying:

“HEY, I’M CALL WISDOM TEETH FOR A REASON, BITCHES, MOVE!”

So, whilst my Wisdom teeth are going all:

MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY, MOOOVVVEE BITCH

I’m going all:

I’M NOOOOTTT OKAYYYY, I’M NOT OOOKKAAAYYYYYYYYYY

Yeahh, so that’s the story.

So, I stayed home from school today and took far too many medications and my mother is cleaning out her closet.

I’m listening to one song on repeat…

THIS ONE!

It makes me like, cry.

A LOT.

No, I mean, if you were to judge on a scale of one to BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS, this would be a definite:

Hehe, that's cute.

I do not have any idea how that applied to my pain, but it was a good topic changer.

Okay, so, remember to send your questions, cute videos, favorite songs, funny or dumb stories, pictures etc. to poisontheperfect@gmail.com

I still have not gotten any mail, which saddens me. Where should I put the email address so everyone notices?

Maybe at the top of every blog post.

Hmmm…moving on.

Let’s talk more about the freakin’ weekend!

So, we all went back to the cabin after the copper incident and played strip spin the bottle for ten second kisses. It’s very complicated, and no, our parents don’t know.

We got pretty unclothed, then we reclothed and had a HUGE SNUGGLEFEST!

Definition of Cuddle Puddle:

YAY!

D'awwww

 

Mostly, this is what we looked like, because we're boss. ❤

Just so you know, we were way more adorable, and BUTTS.

Not saying that it was all about butts, we were just cute and warm and yummehhh.

There was basically no food there, just cupcakes, a few brats, and Hershey’s caramel-filled kisses.

OM-NOM-NOM.

So, we, uh, snuggled on the mattresses, then outside under the stars, then on the master bed.

THEN. SOMETHING. HAPPENED.

We found out that Brady is extremely, VERILY ticklish, and…

I may have instigated a full-blown six-on-one…

TICKLE-FEST!

Just so you know, I is the tickle monster. Rawr.

Then, we went to bed. Yeahh, that’s about it. It was funnier if you were…there.

But…you weren’t…sooo…

Awkward.

Ohh, but it is. Because you weren't invited. Because you're a WHORE.

It’s cool story Monday, by the way, and since that’s apparently good enough for you, here’s a cool story I found while browsing the interwebz.

Hehe, I like this picture because she's wearing a mustache. Hehe.

The cool story of today happens to be just some awesome opossum statistics!

Green Bay Packers: 6-0

Detroit Lions: 5-1

This equals:

GREEN BAY PACKERS THE ONLY UNDEFEATED TEAM IN THE ENTIRE NFL, SUCKAS!

That wraps up our cool story of the day.

“Cool story, bro, when do we get to the chapter where you shut the fuck up?”

– Anon

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

4 responses »

  1. Love your blog! =]
    I remember getting my wisdom teeth out……
    The medication they put you on makes you say really reeeaaallly strange stuff. XD
    (You should try taking a video of what you say/look like -I promise you hilariousness……..well……that might not be that much different than you usually are. XD Anyway, your call. =p)
    I’m not gonna comment on EVERY post…..but you should still know you have at least one reader. =]

    Reply
  2. (Also……do I sense a “Sexy and I know it” reference in the title of this post? Or am I just imagining how you’d say it? XD)

    Reply
    • Okay, so first of all, the Wisdom teeth that I have growing in are actually not going to get removed as I already had my 12-year molars on the bottom removed. I get to be wiser than you, hahaha.

      You think you can best me with your 99 flavors? No way, Jose. I’m the best.
      I appreciate the fact that you like my blog. I work very hard on spewing large amounts of bullshit. I’ve decided that my blog will be my attempt at NaNoWrimo, except the NaNoWriMo part will be starting in November. My posts will have to be longer, so you’ll have to be patient.

      No Sexy and I know it reference, but you know me far too well. That’s my Theme Song.

      Reply
  3. Dudley Haggstrom

    Proper aligned wisdom teeth can be a valuable asset to the mouth but its misalignment requires removal. Wisdom teeth belongs to final set of molar which people witnesses at their late teens and at early twenties but usually it causes discomfort and pain in the mouth for being positioned forcibly in lesser space. Misalignment causes damaging of the jaw bones, adjacent teeth and nerves.”

    See the most interesting content on our own webpage
    <http://www.foodsupplementcenter.com/where-to-buy-tea-tree-oil/

    Reply

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