“Help, my girlfriend is a stripper!”


I have this one possibly male friend. He had claimed multiple times that his girlfriend (one of the most extraordinary women in the ENTIRE WORLD!!!) is a stripper.

(I.E, below, an illustration of a stripper…)

"Commonly known as a Lekresha"

What would you think if right behind your back your boyfriend was calling you a stripper to your best friends?

How would you feel to know that your boyfriend thought of you as nothing but an object?

THIS. IS. TERRIBLE.

SHE’S A NICE LADY!

Kylie Marie Agatha Quarders. You are a terrible boyfriend and furthermore…

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT FRIENDSHIP IS!

Now, I know that this seems a little harsh, but for god’s sakes, we were talking about one-dollar bills and he turned it into some rant about strippers and his girlfriends. Yes, it is now plural. What has this world come to? What is going on in his life that he so needs to degrade women?

Maybe he wants to be a woman.

Yes, secretly, deep down, Kylie wishes he was one of us.

Because we are elite.

We love Abigail and we discriminate against vapid she-males who call their beautiful, intelligent, long-haired girlfriends strippers (unless they really are strippers, in which case…uhmm hem hem).

“I don’t even know what to say to you right now, besides: You’re full of shit, and you wonder why we’re not friends.”

– Kyle Quarders

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About mylifeinheartbeats

Telea is an aspiring Musician who spends too much time aspiring to be a Writer who thinks she's a Comedian. There's not much more to know, except for everything. Telea has a tendency to not think before she speaks or acts. She enjoys chocolate, long walks on the beach, and talking about herself in the third person. She wants to get to know you, so please send her your Name, Address, and SSN. Telea promises that, though she has indeed committed one count of Lewd and Lascivious behavior (to be tried under a court of law), she is a good person and will not intentionally harm you/expose herself to you/hate you for your stupid perspectives/axe-murder you. Telea believes in the greater good, Nutella, peace, free love for all, and snuggles. She chooses Bacon over you, unless you come bearing bacon. She is a fat woman trapped inside a curvy woman's body. She is not for sale unless the price tag you put on her has something to do with world peace. She will sell herself for world peace. She hopes in the deepest of her heart places that you will enjoy her blog and find reason to follow it. Telea thanks you.

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